


I Was Lost Until You Found Me

by lostg4ever



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV), Lexark - Fandom, The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Crossover, Eventual Smut, F/F, Romance, Slow Burn, Zombie Apocalypse, two girls one apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-06-10 03:05:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 40,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6937036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostg4ever/pseuds/lostg4ever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a bird! It's a plane! No it's Clarke Griffin crashing into FTWD! </p><p>50 yrs of living in space turns into a rushed descent to the ground when the air on the Ark runs out but when they land there's a virus turning everyone into walkers. Thankfully, Clarke has Alicia to keep her safe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**3 Years Ago**

_“Come in Ark Station! Come in! This is Houston.”_

_“Go for Houston. What seems to be the problem, fellas? We were expecting a communication from you two weeks ago.”_

_“Commander Griffin you can’t return to Earth next year as planned. It’s not safe. There… there’s this virus. It’s, I don’t know man, it’s infecting everyone that gets bitten!” The flight controller yells into the speaker and Jake thinks he must be drunk because his usual professionalism is gone._

_“Bitten? Bitten by what? What the hell are you talking about, Smith?”_

_“An infected! Bitten by a person infected with the virus! It makes people…makes you want to bite other people and the infected, they won’t die! Not unless you go for a headshot.”_

_“An infected? You’re not making any sense. If this “virus” is an epidemic, then the CDC will surely find a cure right?” Jake asks. “We can still come back. We have to.”_

_“No. You don’t understand and I don’t know how to make you but the whole planet has gone to shit in the last few months! That’s why the contact’s been slow. I’m one of, I don’t,_ two _people here in Mission Control trying to warn you! Everyone else is dead or have fled!”_

_“What… no slow down. What are you saying?”_

_“I’m saying that you can’t come back Jake. There’s nothing and likely no one to come back to. This little experiment needs to become permanent.” Smith says solemnly._

_“No! Half of us have never been to Earth, Smith! The 50 years we’ve spent up here have been really hard on us and the oxygen is running dangerously low. You know this!  We need to finally return to the ground… to finally come home!” Jake insists._

_“Listen Jake, there isn’t going to be a home to come back to. You’re likely to have more time to live up there than you are down here! I mean maybe if the military gets things under control or the CDC develops a cure, it might be a different story but even then…” Smith is suddenly cut off by what sounds like a vicious gurgling growl. “Arghh!!” Smith yells into the speaker, “God’s speed, brother!” and then the radio goes silent._

_“Smith? Jim! Jim do you copy? Jim!” But Jake gets no answer. He stares at the radio, willing for someone to come online and say it was all a prank… a very bad prank but no one ever does._

**3 years later**

“You’re being sent to the ground,” her mother says, eyes wide with concern but hopefulness. “You get to go to Earth, sweetie. You’re being given a second chance, Clarke.”

“What? Mom what are you talking about. It’s not safe down there. No way!” Clarke protests thoroughly confused.

“You don’t have a choice. You and the other hundred are being sent down now.”

“NOW! Is this some new form of punishment? Instead of floating us they just send us back to Earth to be infected or killed! I’d rather be floated, Mom!”

“Clarke you don’t understand. The Ark’s dying. We’re over capacity and we’re running out of air. We weren’t meant to be in space for this long. The NASA experimental space-living was only supposed to be for 50 years before being revalued. It’s a miracle we were able to last another 3 years within any contact and such little reserves.”

“I know Mom, and I know we were supposed to land 2 years ago but then the virus hit and that dream ended. That’s exactly why we need to just keep working on a way to regenerate air rather than send us to our deaths. I mean, what makes you so sure we can do this?” Clarke asks worriedly. “I wish Dad was here.” 

Clarke’s father, ex-Commander Jake Griffin, told the Council Members of the Ark about the virus on the ground and everyone wanted to keep it a secret from Ark inhabitants but her dad knew the air supply wouldn’t last forever and that people had a right to know what was going on on the ground. Against orders, he announced to everyone on the Ark  that the air supply would only last for another 6 months and told them about the virus.  Needless to say, this didn’t go over well with the Council. Newly elected Chancellor Jaha had him immediately floated. The Chancellor and Council system had been set up shortly after Jake told a group of them about the infected. Now there were no governments, no laws, no protocols, just every man for himself and that wasn’t going to work if the Ark was going to maintain order. They elected Jaha and Clarke’s mother, Abby, became a councilwoman. But the pesky little no-oxygen problem still needed to be fixed.

“Listen to me, Clarke,” Abby said, ignoring Clarke’s comment about her father. “You’re all getting wristbands so we can track you from here and instructions on how to contact us once you reach the ground. If the ground isn’t overrun like your father was told it was or if they’ve finally found a cure, we need to know immediately so we can start sending everyone else down.” Abby said to her daughter. She motioned for two men to come over before kissing Clarke on the forehead and whispering “Be safe. I love you.” The next thing Clarke feels is a prink in the back of her neck and then everything goes black.

Everyone between the ages of 10 and 18 were put into two pods and strapped down. There was 100 in total and none of them had ever been to Earth before though some of their parents were born there. Sure they had heard stories but they were finally going to experience the real thing… if they didn’t get eaten alive within the first 5 minutes of being on the ground. Clarke guessed that sending 100 kids to the ground was really just one way to preserve oxygen on the Ark rather than an attempt to give them all a new life.

When she wakes, Clarke is sitting next to her best-friend Wells in one of the two pods. She had spent her entire childhood with Wells and they were inseparable. A part of her calms upon seeing his face. “Wells!” She's happy he's here even if this is one of the worst situations they could be in.

“Hi Clarke! We're going to the ground,” he says dumbly. She smiles but doesn't respond as Jaha appears on the screen in front of them giving them directions and wishing them safe travels on their journey.

The pod ejects from the Space Station and Clarke looks out her window at the rapidly shrinking place she called home for the last 18 years. She should feel sad but oddly she doesn’t. It never really felt like home after her dad died. 

“If we don’t burn up in the atmosphere upon reentry then we’ll die by infecteds on the ground. Sounds like great odds of survival to me, Jaha,” an angry looking kid named Murphy says.

“Shut up, Murphy,” the boy on his right responds. Bellamy Blake. Clarke’s known the Blakes her whole life. Bellamy had always had a crush on her but she never reciprocated his affections. She was much more focused on her art than boys and now that they were being sent to the ground, she’ll probably be just focusing on surviving.

“Don’t be afraid, Clarke.” Wells says unconvincingly. He looks terrified and he should be because they were rapidly approaching the Earth’s outer-atmosphere and the pod was shaking violently and pieces of metal were flying off.

“I’m not,” Clarke responses much more credibly but of course she was just as terrified.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck!” Murphy’s yelling and Clarke’s thinking the same thing.

“Look Clarke, I don’t wanna die without telling you something.” Wells yells over the beeping warning sounds blaring through the dropship. “I know we've been best friends for a long time and you're always telling me how much I mean to you...”

“Wells don't,” Clarke says, closing her eyes and cutting him off. She doesn't want to say good byes. She wants them to make it to the ground. "Tell me when we get to the ground." She looks at the boy and nods reassuringly and he says no more.

Every second felt like an hour but as they passed through the troposphere, the ground slowly came into view. The other pod was out of sight and Clarke thinks darkly that it probably burned up in the mesosphere. They were going to make this descent alone.

“Here goes nothing!” A girl named Raven says as she clutches onto her boyfriend’s hand, Finn, and closes her eyes. Then the next thing any of them know is the sound of a deafening crashing into the Earth’s surface and then darkness. 

* * *

 “Come on, Alicia, move it!” The girl’s mother yells from up ahead. Alicia, Madison, Nick and Travis were just coming from another supply run. Ever since the sanctuary a man named Strand took them to in Mexico was invaded by locals and later overrun by a bunch of infecteds last year, they were living on the run; raiding abandoned houses and stores for any supplies they could find. Strand was killed during the raid and now they were down to 6. They took turns going out on supply runs and Alicia had drawn the short stray this week. It wasn’t at all how Alicia thought she would be spending the last of her teenage years. Life sucked. 

“Coming. Coming.” Alicia replies but she doesn’t pick up the pace. Why hurry back to spend another boring night with her family watching reruns of I Love Lucy on the TV and eating stale popcorn. She should be at college, going to parties, reading Marx and Kant, and skyping with Matt. Alicia sighs and kicks at the gravel and dirt she’s walking on. She really misses Matt. She hadn’t thought about him in a while. It still hurts but not like it did when she first lost him. It hurts less and less every day and sometimes she wonders if soon she won’t feel anything at all. Not love nor sadness, just nothing.

“Alicia hurry up!” Travis yells, disrupting her thoughts. She’s even further away now but they’re still in sight.

“I said I’m coming, gesh!” Alicia yells back. She groans and rolls her eyes before jogging a bit to catch up, the supplies in her back pack swaying from side to side. “Happy now?” she says smartly but gets no reply. They know she’s grown bitter by the situation but what can anyone do other than try to survive in this strange new world.

They reach the top of the hill that signifies they are approaching the makeshift home they’ve made at an abandoned farm with a large white 6 bedroom house, plenty of grass, and a tall wooden fence around it. Then suddenly the sky lights up bright white only to be replaced by what looks like a falling meteorite.

“What the hell is that?” Nick asks.

“I don’t know but it looks like some kind of asteroid or meteor,” Travis says.

“I think it’s a spaceship,” Alicia chimes in.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Travis says.

“I’m not! I’m serious! Look!” she points to the rapidly approaching metal pod shooting towards the ground. They all gaps as they realize Alicia’s right. Everyone is silent as they watch it crash land a few miles away, not hard and fast enough to explode but enough to make the ground shake and the blowback knock down the surrounding trees. 

“Woah,” Nick says as he starts walking towards the crash site.

“Don’t!” Travis says quickly as he grabs onto Nick’s sleeve and pulls him back. Nick shrugs his hand off but doesn’t walk any further. “That sound is going to draw hundreds of the infected to that area. We need to steer clear. Luckily, they’ll be drawn away from us.”

“Travis has got a point you guys. We need to just head back to the farm,” Madison voices.

“No! What if there are people in there! They could need help!” Alicia says.

“We can’t go running into a horde of the infected, Alicia! For all we know, _if_ there were people inside, they’re dead,” Nick says.

“I can’t believe you agree with them, Nick!” Alicia says exasperated. She can understand her mom agreeing with Travis but her own brother? Nah.

“Because it’s dangerous and the thing is probably just some satellite that got knocked out of orbit by a meteor.”

“It doesn’t look like a satellite,” Alicia murmurs but she agrees to head back to the farm regardless.

Later that night after everyone had fallen asleep, Alicia decides to go to the crash site despite the protests she got from everyone else earlier. She had a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that it wasn’t a satellite and that those people needed help. It’s incredibly foolish, she knows, but it’s better than lying awake in a creaking bed all night.

Alicia grabs the secret gun Nick gave her last month, throws on a warm sweater, her black ripped jeans and her gray vans before slowly tip-toeing downstairs and out the door. She thinks she’s in the clear when she makes it to the front gate but then she hears someone say “what do you think you’re doing” from off to her left. 

Alicia stops in her tracks and turns in the direction of the voice. She knows who it is. “What the hell Nick! What are you doing out here!”

Nick steps closer to her and holds up a pack of cigarettes. She can barely see him in the dark but he lights a cig and the darkness dissipates a bit.

“In the middle of the night? Really?” Alicia quips but Nick just shrugs.

“And what are _you_ doing out here in the middle of the night?” he asks before taking a long drag from the cigarette.  

Alicia debates lying to him but doesn’t really see a point in doing so since he probably already knows. “You already know. I’m going to check out that spaceship or whatever the hell it was.”

“Then I’m coming with you,” Nick says definitively like he knows Alicia is going to protest but surprisingly she doesn’t. She mimics the shrug he just gave her and heads out the front gate.

“Fuck. We’re gonna get ourselves killed,” Nick says to himself as he follows. Alicia hears him and can’t help but smirk because they probably are and she thinks it just might be worth it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia and Clarke meet!

Clarke awoke to ringing ears and blurred vision. She couldn’t remember where she was or how she got there. The last thing she remembers was drawing the Earth in her room. She looks around, taking in her surrounds when she sees an unconscious Wells sitting next to her and then it all comes flooding back: her mom telling her she was being sent to the ground, the terrifying descent, speeding toward the ground and nothing. They must have crash landed. They must finally be on Earth! How many times had she dreamt about this moment? And now they were finally here!

“Everyone okay? O?” she hears Bellamy call out.

“Yeah I’m good,” Octavia answers her brother, groaning at bit as she sits up more and looks around. “Are we here? Did we make it?” She asks while unsnapping her harness and slowly getting up.

“Guys you have to get out here and see this!” someone shouts from what sounds like outside the dropship.

Everyone still inside looks at each other apprehensively but Octavia is the first to sprint to the door.

“O wait!” Bellamy yells but she ignores him like all little sisters do to their big brothers and runs down the ramp into the beckoning warm light.

It’s pleasantly warm outside and she looks up at the large orange ball in the sky. “The sun,” she whispers to herself and a huge smile forms on her face as she begins to feel it’s warm rays embrace her like a blanket and kiss her pale skin.

Octavia spent her whole life up until a few months ago living under the floor in her mom and brother’s corridors. The Ark had a one-child policy and her mother couldn’t bare get rid of her when she realized she was pregnant so she had Octavia in secret, hiding her underneath the floorboards in their room during the day. Bellamy took care of her most of the time and they were extremely close. When her mother was finally caught she was floated, killed by being sent into space without a space suit. It was hard on her and Bellamy but Octavia couldn’t help but think while standing outside in the sun for the first time in her life that this could be the start of something great.

Clarke, Bellamy, Wells, and the rest of the crew follow her and stand in awe at what they see. The crash had dragged up the Earth they were standing on so nothing but dirt and debris lay under their feet but out stretched before them was a grassy field surrounded by large mountains dotted with cacti and other shrubbery they had never seen before. There are rows and rows of what looked like plotted vegetables around them and tall dry trees off to the right that signified the start of a small forest.

Then a bird flies overhead, spreading its large wings and dancing in the sunlight. A bee buzzes past causing a young girl named Charlotte to jump and shriek but it does her no harm, its mind set on its destination. A small insect Clarke believes is called a beetle craws over Clarke’s shoe where she’s standing in the dirt and she can’t help but marvel at the simplicity of it. The sun above them has started to make it’s slow descent over the mountains and it glows at bright amber color with a dark rosy haze around it. Clarke thinks it might be the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

When she dreamt of Earth it was nothing like this. It was a dark, lifeless place but standing here now Clarke realizes that Earth is so very much _alive_. Everything is bright, moving, and colorful. It’s nothing like the grainy pictures and movies they had on the Ark. It’s real and it’s breathtaking.

“Where are we?” somebody asks in awe.

“Who cares! Look at this place! Why the hell did they ever leave?” Murphy exclaims. He runs out, grabbing at the plants at his feet and laughing when he kicks up the dirt and it flies around him in the wind. Octavia and a few others join in and before you know it, they’re all laughing and reveling in the newness of Earth and its tiny treasures.

But then in an instant the image of beauty is shattered by the strange sounds of throaty growls and slow shuffling feet.

“Hey guys…what’s that?” Monty asks. He’s standing next to his best friend Jasper who’s trying to figure out what type of vegetables uses to grow in the field they’re in. But he doesn’t need an answer when the massive horde of infecteds appear not more than a mile away and it’s so large they’ll soon be surrounded.

“What the…” Murphy starts, pointing toward the hoard.

“Everyone back in the dropship now!” Clarke yells suddenly and everyone immediately starts running.

They lock themselves in the dropship, some crying, some looking like they are about to pee their pants, while others, like Clarke, are planning.

“Okay, we knew this could happen right? I mean, we know about the virus and we know if any one of us gets bitten, then we turn into those things out there,” Raven says pointing towards the door separating them from the infecteds. “So we have no choice but to get rid of them.”

“And how exactly are we going to do that?” Murphy asks.

“I say we shoot them,” Bellamy suggests. “They’re dead right? The Ark gave us a handful of weapons and grenades when they sent us down so why not use them?”

“Because there are hundreds of them out there. We can’t shoot our way out and we don’t even know where we’d go after that. What if there are more coming? What do we do after we use all the ammo today? We’ll still be here tomorrow,” Clarke counters.

“Okay then we set out and find more; restock,” Bellamy pushes.

Clarke furrows her brow and her temples in frustration. “There has to be another way,” she says to herself. “Are there rockets or missiles on this ship?” Clarke suddenly asks of no one in particular.

“Yeah I think so,” Raven chimes, her mechanic instincts taking over.

 “Okay good. Then we use the rockets to kill them.” Clarke tells them.

“What?” Monty asks skeptically.

“Yea I’m with him,” Bellamy adds.

“That’s a brilliant idea!” Raven exclaims with a vigorous nod. “We let them get as close as possible to the dropship and then I can use the remaining rocket fuel to fire the rockets and save our asses.” Raven proudly declares.

Clarke chuckles. Raven always was modest. “Okay let’s do it,” she says. “What can I do to help?”

And with that Raven, Clarke, Monty, and Bellamy begin using the remaining rocket fuel to power the rockets on the dropship. They wait until as many infecteds surround the ship as possible. The sounds are skin crawling and their insistent banging and scraping at the outside of the ship is hard to ignore.

“Haven’t we waited long enough!” Bellamy yells over the sounds after what feels like hours.

Clarke climbs up to peer out the tiny window and sees hundreds of them crowding around and flashing their bloody mouths at the outside of the ship as if that would magically open the doors. She can’t see very many more in the horizon and the few stragglers she can see they can take out on their own after they get rid of the bulk of them.

“Yea I think it’s time,” Clarke says to Raven.

The girl gives her a hopeful nod. “This better work,” she says then tells everyone to cover their ears and mercilessly launches the rockets.

* * *

 Nick and Alicia hardly speak during their three and half mile journey to the crash site. They’re more focused on avoiding the infected than making small talk. It’s extremely dangerous to be out at night since there aren’t exactly street lamps in the little farm town they now live in. They’re lucky if they hit a paved road.

“We have no idea what to expect,” Nick says after a while.

“Way to state the obvious,” Alicia retorts.

“And that doesn’t worry you in the least bit, huh?”

“You didn’t have to come,” Alicia offers.

“Sure I did,” Nick replies because if anything happened to Alicia he would never forgive himself and neither would the family. “What do you think I was doing out there? Waiting for you to do something stupid,” Nick answers his own question.

“Well then look at it this way, we get to have a little late night adventure. When’s the last time we did anything remotely fun?” Alicia bargains.

Nick nods his head in agreement. It’s true. They could use a change for once.

When they get close enough to see the foreign pod, Nick and Alicia freeze in their tracks.

“Holy shit,” Alicia says more to herself than Nick but her brother was going to say the same thing because stretched out in front of them is a massive grave of infecteds all charred to the bone. Alicia could hear some still making pathetic growling sounds as they slowly approached but none of them had enough working body parts left to be a real threat. It was as if they were all lured to their demise and set afire by the ship.

Nick pulled out the gun he was concealing in the back of his pants and Alicia did the same. Maybe it wasn’t the infecteds they needed to worry about.

“Be careful,” Nick tells Alicia as he steps arounds a few infecteds swatting at his feet.

“Have you ever seen such a thing!” Alicia marvels while gesturing toward the large spaceship in front of her. “It’s definitely _not_ a satellite.” As she reaches the entrance she hesitates. “Should we knock?”

“Hello? Is anybody in there? Are you ok?” Nick bangs his gun on the outside of the ship cautiously, praying whatever happened to the hundreds of infecteds that encircle them doesn’t happen to them. 

 They hear movement from inside. “Hello? We’re here to help!” Alicia calls out. More shuffling and then finally the the door Nick banged on beings to descend. Nick raises his weapon and steps in front of Alicia, not sure what to expect. She pushes him aside and stares wide-eyed when she looks into the ship.

“Hi,” she says simply to the blonde girl she can make out standing in front of her.

“Hi,” Clarke greets Alicia and can’t help but flash a small smile. The girl’s brother was pointing a gun at her and Bellamy and Finn were pointing guns at him but Clarke felt unusually calm standing there.

“I’m Alicia,” the brunette introduces herself and slowly lifts her hand for Clarke to shake.

Clarke walks down the dropship ramp despite the protests she receives from behind her. “I’m Clarke. It’s nice to meet you,” she says as she shakes the girl’s warm hand. Yes, Earth was very much alive.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia and Nick meet the new arrivals and Clarke and Alicia get to know one another better.

“You’re from the Ark Space Station!” Alicia exclaims. She’s sitting on an old tree stump with her knees pulled against her chest and a look of wonderment on her face that’s glowing in the moonlight. The evening air is fresh and crisp and there’s a light breeze rhythmically rattling the trees. To Alicia, it’s nothing special but to Clarke and the others, night on Earth is something out of fairytales.  

“Yup. Never been to the ground until now.” Raven says while she sits on the grass in between her boyfriend’s legs.

“Why are you down here then! Don’t you know the world’s gone to shit,” Nick asks unapologetically.

“We were running out of oxygen. It was the only way to survive.” Clarke responds.

“That is if you don’t die from a walker bite or starvation.” Nick shakes his head in disbelief.

“Walker?” Raven asks curiously.

“It’s what we call them. Walkers, crawlers, biters, rotters, the undead.” Nick explains.

“Oh,” Raven says, feeling a little grossed out. “We always referenced them as infected up on the Ark.” Raven shrugs.

“That works too,” Nicks nods.

“Is there a cure?” Clarke asks. She remembers it was one of the things they were supposed to find out when they got down here.

“No.” Alicia responds plainly.

“I heard some company was working on one about 6 months back but I haven’t heard anything since. Number one rule of living in this hell: don’t get bitten.” Nick tells them.

They all look at him seriously and Clarke swallows because she knows that’s going to be easier said than done.

“So what’s it like up there?” Alicia changes the subject.

“Not as fun as you would expect,” Octavia replies but Alicia doesn’t know the girl’s story so she misses how true her statement really is.

“I couldn’t do it. I’d miss the sun on my face and the wind in my hair and fast food – though I haven’t had that in ages.” Alicia tilts her head back and smiles.

“Mhm Dominos would be so good right about now,” Nick adds with his eyes wide.

“Dominos?” some of them ask.

Nick makes a “what-the-fuck” face at Alicia and she shakes her head laughing softly. These poor souls haven’t experienced the joy of hot cheesy pizza. What a travesty. “You missed out on so much,” he tells them.

Raven rolls her eyes and Clarke chuckles. The sky is slowly growing lighter as the stars go back into hiding and Nick knows it’s time for them to go. “We need to be heading back, Alicia.” he tells his sister. “Everyone’s going to be waking up soon.”

“Yea okay,” Alicia agrees reluctantly, hopping off the log with grace and stretching wildly in the night. She haphazardly locks eyes with Clarke who’s taken the liberty of staring at the exposed flesh of Alicia’s stomach. Alicia sees Clarke staring at her but she finishes stretching anyway and lets her shirt fall where it may afterwards. The brunette thinks she sees a blush coat the blonde’s cheeks before she quickly turns away and Alicia smiles. It feels good to be noticed.

She and Nick pack up their things, leaving the extra water-bottle with one of the teens and then turn to go.

“You’re leaving us here!” Charlotte’s suddenly on her feet. “What are we supposed to do?”

Alicia looks at the young girl who can’t be more than eleven or twelve and she starts to have second thoughts about leaving them out here all alone. She intimately knows the horrors of the apocalypse and yet these kids don’t even know what fast food is let alone life on Earth.

“Nick we should lead them back into town. If they split up, they might be able to find some places to stay for a while. It’s gotta be safer than here.” Alicia suggests but she knows her brother is going to think it’s a bad idea.

“Wait split up? We’re supposed to stick together until the others know it’s safe. Plus, we don’t know if the other dropship made it down or not. We should try to contact them.” Bellamy counters quickly. He’s looking at Clarke like she’s the only one around.

“What others?” Nick asks curiously.

“There are other people on the Ark. A hundred of us in total were sent down here in two ships to see if the land is habitable and are supposed to report back with a confirmation.”

“And if it was inhabitable?” Alicia probes but Clarke doesn’t say anything.

“I say we wait it out here for a few days,” Bellamy says.

“I agree,” Clarke nods. “We have the dropship for shelter and at sunrise we can go out and look for food and water.”

“Well I can help you…show you where we get our food,” Alicia offers more to Clarke than the others. “Many of the places around here are going to be empty.”

Then Nick is quickly grabbing her arm and pulling her off to the side and out of earshot. The others look at him suspiciously but say nothing.

“Let go!” Alicia hisses, yanking her arm out of his grasp and turning around to face the group.

“Alicia wait! We don’t even know who these people are. We can’t show them where we get our supplies! There’s fifty of them and they said there are others! Pickings are already slim. They’ll be completely _gone_ if they tag along.”

“What are you talking about! We have to help them! Just because everything’s all fucked up now doesn’t mean we get to be assholes.”

“Listen, I know you want to help and all but we need to let them find their own way. We’ve given them enough info about life in this shithole to get them started but other than that, every man for himself.” Nick runs his hand through his hair in a frustrated manner before sighing heavily.

“Always the martyr,” his sister mocks.

“You know I’m right. Beside, helping them isn’t going to fix anything,” he adds.

“You don’t know that.” Alicia bite back. Maybe they’re just what this world needs.

There’s silence for a beat until the sun pokes its raises over the horizon and Nick remembers they’re supposed to be asleep in their beds. “We need to head back.”

Alicia doesn’t respond but she doesn’t return to where the others are chatting either. She just looks over her shoulder at the makeshift camp the Arkers have set up and tries to imagine what it must feel like being on Earth for the first time. Scary, exciting, overwhelming? _Too bad it isn’t like it used to be. What a shitty time to finally visit._ She thinks.  

She can see Clarke and Bellamy talking to the others. They look like leaders and she’s not surprised. Bellamy seems to be a bit controlling but means well. Clarke is more calculating and cautious but would probably do whatever needed to be done to ensure everyone’s safety. Clarke’s probably the most interesting of the group. She’s confident and smart. But also mysterious and Alicia can’t help but want to get to know her better. They’d probably be good friends. Alicia doesn’t have many of those these days and it only adds to the growing loneliness in her heart.

Alicia shakes her thoughts away and begins walking back to the farm with Nick in silence. When she’s she lying in bed an hour later, covering her face from the sun with her covers, she can’t help but feel bored and out of place. Meeting the Arkers brought some excited to life again and she stop thinking about it. Finally, there’s something other than death in her life and she has to hold onto it as tight as possible. When her mom comes knocking on her door telling her to come get some breakfast Alicia knows what she has to do. She has to go back. Fuck Nick. She’s not leaving them there helpless alone.

* * *

 

Alicia, however, isn’t able to get back to the crash site until the following week and she’s not sure what to expect. Has the group managed to find food and water in the meantime? Are they even still there or have they turned?

The fear of being too late has Alicia half walking and half running to where she found them last week. She’s about half way there when she hears a scream coming from a bodega on her left. She swiftly runs in that direction, picking up a metal wrench laying on the ground outside for protection before stopping at the entrance. She brought her gun with her but didn’t want to draw more attention to the situation if any walkers were nearby. She cautiously enters the dusty shop and swipes at a few cobs dangling from the doorframe. She’s as quiet as possible and hopes the creaky floor underneath her feet doesn’t give her away. She scans the room for any sign of trouble but nothing looks out of place. The shelves are picked clean from all the trips her and her family had made to this place in the last year. The lights are out and it’s almost too dark to see what’s going on. And that’s when she’s hears a muffled cry coming from the back of the store. Gripping the wrench tighter, Alicia hurriedly makes her way to the back. For a moment she thinks she must be imagining the noises because at first glance, no one’s there but then she sees her--a tanned-skinned, dark-haired girl crouching low in the deli section. The girl is covering her mouth to quiet her breathing and staring straight ahead. When she sees Alicia, her eyes grow wide. Alicia thinks she remembers meeting this girl. She’s one of the Arkers but Alicia can’t remember her name. Alicia holds her pointer finger to her lips to signal her to stay quiet and rounds the corner. That’s when Clarke comes frantically bolting down the aisle and knocking into Alicia hard. The girl screams and Alicia grabs at her now sore head but looks relieved when she notices it’s Clarke.

“Infecteds!” Clarke yells once she’s composed herself.  

Alicia looks behind her and sure enough, there are a group of about seven walkers quickly making their way over to them.

“We need to move. Now!” Alicia commanders and she starts for the door. Clarke is right behind her but the other girl isn’t moving.

“Raven let’s go!” Clarke says but Raven is still sitting on the ground, looking practically catatonic. “Raven!”

“Clarke, we can’t leave! They’re our friends!” she says standing and moving out of the way as the infected grab for her.

“Those aren’t your friends anymore!” Alicia says sternly backing away. “They’re long gone!”

“Shut up!” Raven yells at her. “Finn, please!” She says to a walker who looks particularly hungry as he latches onto her shoulders. There are bite marks littering his arms and Alicia assumes he must have tried to fight off the rest to save her and Clarke. He’s not alone as the others swarm around the girls growling and flashing their teeth. Clarke begins pushing them out the way and Alicia and plunges the wrench into a couple heads to clear a path. Clarke pulls a knife from her back pocket and stabs the boy named Finn in the back just as he’s about to take a chunk out of Raven’s face who staring at him in utter shock. He turns around and tries to bite Clarke instead.

“Go for the head! That’s the only way they’ll stop!” Alicia yells. She’s struggling with her own walker who has her pined against a shelf and is trying to bite her neck. He’s gaining the upper hand when Alicia suddenly she sees the tip of a knife appear through the walker’s forehead and it slumps to the ground. She realizes Clarke has stabbed him in the brains from behind, effectively saving her life. “Thanks” Alicia says breathlessly to the blonde who nods and turns back to check on her friend. Raven is now crying hysterically over Finn on the ground. He’s twitching his arms about in a lame attempt to rise but the hole in his head shows he has no more than a few seconds of fight left in him. Alicia puts the poor thing out of misery by driving her wrench into his skull for good measure and he finally stills.

That’s when something breaks inside Raven and she’s suddenly furious at them. “What did you do!” she hollers. Her pain is so evident and her heart so broken in the way those four words come out that it rattles Alicia’s bones.

She swallows thickly before replying. “What had to be done.”

“Killing them!” Raven exclaims as she waves to the mass of bodies around them.

“They weren’t alive. Not anymore,” Alicia says a little impatiently and she feels bad for the girl because this was something she needed to learn and fast.

Raven gives them both a death stare before swiping angrily at the tears on her face and storming out the bodega. Clarke makes to follow her but Alicia gently places her hand on top of her arm to stop her.

“Don’t.” She says. Clarke lets out a shaky breath she’d been holding in since spotting the group of infecteds and nods. She licks her chapped lips and tilts her head back as in an attempt to stop the tears from flowing but Alicia can see one slide down the side of her cheek anyway. “It gets easier…unfortunately.” Alicia comforts. Her hand is still resting on Clarke’s arm so she begins to rub calming circles into the smooth flesh with her thumb the way her mom did with her. Clarke looks at her with an unreadable expression so Alicia stops and lets her hand fall. “Sorry.”

“No, thank you.” Clarke tells her genuinely.  

“We should go.” Alicia says because Clarke is staring at her and it makes her heart flutter unexpectedly. “What happened?” she asks once they’re outside.

“A few of us came looking for food. We didn’t notice the infecteds until it was too late. Jackson was bitten first and Finn, Raven’s boyfriend, tried to hold them off until we could get away but he was bitten too. He turned almost instantly.” Clarke says sadly. Finn was a good friend of hers. They had classes together back on the Ark. Although he was in a relationship with Raven, he always seemed to be flirting with her. If she was honest with herself, Clarke kind of liked him too but she was never one to act on those feelings because he truly loved Raven. And now he had died for her and Clarke. It was one sad fucked up tragedy.  

“It used to take longer for them to turn, but it’s happening faster and faster. The virus must be mutating and getting strong,” Alicia clarifies weakly because the thought of it scares her.

Clarke can sense her discomfort and is afraid of what that means as well so she asks the obvious instead of dwelling on it. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh um. I came back to help. I meant to get here sooner but I couldn’t get away. I brought some more water and I was going to show you where we get our food. All the stores and houses over this way are empty now.”

“Yeah we figured that out pretty quickly. We hadn’t checked this place yet so that’s why we were in there,” Clarke says point back to the store, “but it was empty too. Anyway, I should get back to the dropship or at least go looking for Raven.” Alicia can’t help but feel a little disappointed at that and maybe it’s obvious because Clarke notices because offers for Alicia to join her. “You did come all this way.”

“I don’t know. Maybe I should just go back to the farm.”

“Okay, but I could use the company.” Clarke says and smiles brightly at Alicia and the brunette can’t help but agree.

The two girls walk in silence for a while feeling a tad awkward the way most new friends do their first time hanging out together alone. But Clarke’s the first one to break the silence and she asks Alicia about her life before the outbreak and how she managed to survive this long. Alicia tells her everything mostly because she feels like she can without being judged. She even mentions Matt and Clarke seems to sense the pain behind that story but doesn’t push for details.

“What about you?” Alicia asks. They’re now sitting at what used to be a bus stop a couple hundred yards outside the camp.

“There’s nothing really to tell,” Clarke replies. “I went to class during the day. We learned the basics: math, science, English, history. In the evenings we all had dinner in a mess hall. I watched old football and soccer games with my mom, dad, and my best friend on the weekends. Sometimes I would draw.”

“What would you draw?” Alicia’s listening intently, as if Clarke is talking about the most interesting thing in the world. Even though it sounds a lot like her own life and she’s surprised. She thought living in space meant walking on the moon or floating around in astronaut suits.  

“Anything. My friends and family. The view of the Earth from space. What I thought it looked like on the ground.”

“And is it how you imagined?”

“It’s even more beautiful,” Clarke says with her head turned to the stars. She lets her gaze fall to Alicia and smiles radiantly. Clarke uncontrollably looks at the girl’s plump red lips and has to quickly look away out of shame. _Way to go, Clarke._   

Alicia blushes but she’s grateful for the cover night provides because it goes unnoticed. She reaches in her backpack and pulls out a gallon of water, a few cans of food. “It’s not much,” she begins, “but it should keep at least a few of you from dying within the next few days.”

Clarke chuckles and thanks her. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“I know but I wanted to. I can show you where there’s food and water next time I come by. You’ll need to go to the next town over but it’s not far.”

“Okay. How do we get there?” Clarke asks frowning.

“We drive.” Alicia says as if it’s obvious but then she remembers Clarke’s been living in space her whole life and most definitely has not driven a car. “Shit, you’ve never driven a car huh? It’s not hard. We have a truck I’ll bring. I can teach you if you want?” Alicia says shyly.  

Clarke raises an eyebrow and smirks. Alicia smiles back warmly. “Driver’s Ed instructor Clark here!” Alicia says lamely and instantly regrets it but it makes Clarke smiles so she doesn’t feel too stupid.

“You stole my name.”

“I had it first.” Alicia defends.

Clarke rolls her eyes the way Alicia is always doing. “Maybe it’s fate.”

“Maybe,” Alicia says, taking in Clarke’s features for the first time. It’s dark but she can tell the blonde is very beautiful.

They sit quietly for a while, enjoying the night air and each other’s presence. But when Clarke looks down at her hands the moment is shattered. She hadn’t noticed until now that they’re caked in blood --Finn’s blood. Alicia sees Clarke staring at her hands and wants to say something but there’s nothing like the first kill and there isn’t much she can really say to make the shock go away. She’s gotten so used to it now. It shouldn’t be so normal.

“I um, I need to get back,” Clarke says feebly. “I’ll tell the others what you said about killing them. Thanks for advice.” She stands quickly and grabs the things Alicia brought her.

“Clarke wait.” Alicia reaches out for Clarke’s hand but she pulls away.

“See you soon?” Clarke ignores Alicia’s concern.

“Yeah. Sure. Soon,” is all Alicia manages before Clarke sprints off to join the others. Alicia watches her disappear and a shiver runs down her spine because she realizes this girl will either be the best thing that’s ever happened to her or the worst.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the secret's out!

This is the third time Alicia snuck out in the middle of the night and it kind of feels like things have some semblance of normalcy again. Alicia is just like any other 19-year-old kid trying to escape the boredom of reality and find peace in the night. It brings a smile to her lips and flutters her heart in glorious anticipation. She’s clumsily packing her bag and finds herself debating endlessly on what to wear like she’s headed on a hot date. It’s foolish but what else does she have going for her in the apocalyptic paradise?

It’s only been three days since she found Clarke and Raven in a mess of trouble in the abandoned bodega halfway between the farm and their camp. But since then, all Alicia has thought about is the haunt in Clarke’s eyes when she realized what she had done to her friend. It was a look survivors knew all too well. It was a rite of passage but a hard one to traverse and Alicia wished she could somehow make it easier even if it was a pipedream. However, Alicia could bring palatable satisfaction and extra antioxidants. During their supply run yesterday, she had managed to snag a chocolate bar that wasn’t too expired and was excited to see the look Clarke gave her when she bit into the gooey aphrodisiac. Okay maybe that came out wrong.

Alicia may have been thinking about Clarke a bit too often lately. She tells herself it’s just excitement for the new friendship, the fact that this girl is from space, or the mysteriousness she expels. But in actuality, the amount of time spent daydreaming about Clarke is borderline crushing. She’s just not ready to admit that to herself yet.

Alicia is bounding down the stairs, in as quiet a manner as possible, skimming through the kitchen and is just about to open the back door and start the familiar three-mile journey, when bright light engulfs the kitchen and nearly blinds her. She turns on her heel to see Madison and Nick waiting for her.

“What the hell!” Alicia startles, covering her heart and willing it to slow to a normal rhythm.

“Before you say anything, I swear I didn’t tell her!” Nick defends himself instantly.

“Nick, shut up.” Madison tells him sternly and glares at her daughter in that disappointed fashion that only mothers do. “What do you think you’re doing, Alicia!” The curtness in her tone would have given away her anger had it not been for the glare.

“Helping people,” Alicia responds smartly. “I guess Nick told you we went to the crash site?”

“Nick wouldn’t tell me anything but that’s where you’ve been sneaking off to? For how long?” Her mother looks confused until Alicia responds.

“Yes. It wasn’t a meteorite it was a spaceship full of kids that need our help!”

“Good God, Alicia stop lying for once!”

“I’m not fucking lying!”

“Watch your language!”

“It’s the truth. Why would I make this up?”

“Because you’re a bored teenager stuck on a farm in Mexico!” her mother counters.

Nick who has been listening to the not-so friendly banter finally chimes in. “Well when you put it like that…” He pokes out his bottom lip in acquiescence but continues. “She’s telling the truth, though. We’ve met them.”

“So you’ve both been reckless and lying. Nick, you’re supposed to protect her!”

“I can protect myself. I’m 19!” Alicia defends.

“Of course. 19. Because that’s the age where no danger can touch you.” Madison responds sarcastically.

“Ugh I’m done,” Alicia says before opening the door and stalking out. But Madison and Travis have caught onto Alicia’s antics the past few years of having nothing better to do and Travis is waiting patiently for her outside and looking unamused. “Leave me alone!” Alicia tells him firmly.

“You aren’t going anywhere, Alicia,” he says as if that’s all that’s needed to get Alicia back in the house without protest.

“Don’t, Travis,” She cautions annoyed.

“If what you’re saying is true, then I think we need to see this for ourselves… in the morning.” Madison says suddenly. “No more sneaking out at night. It’s extremely dangerous and you could get yourself killed.” Madison’s sill in the kitchen but is peering into the night at her daughter and partner in crime. Nick is rubbing his face and shaking his head in disbelief but he doesn’t say anything. “Come back inside and we’ll leave at first light.”

Alicia considers the offer for a moment while Travis stares her down. She knows it’s the best she’ll get and she doesn’t feel like fighting. “You’re so annoying. Both of you,” Alicia says as she brushes past her mom and goes back inside. Madison gives Travis a knowing nod and he follows in after her.

“That means I’m doing my job,” Madison answers. “Now both of you sit down and tells us what you know.”

* * *

 

Today, Clarke is finally able to make contact with the Ark. Her mother had been doing what any self-respecting mother would – worrying out of her mind. Why haven’t you contacted sooner? Are you all right? Is it safe? And of course Clarke tried to calm her down like a good daughter even though she was mad at her for agreeing to send them all down here in the first place. This was definitely not the Earth she had imagined but there were some perks. Alicia being one of them. There was a strong energy between them demanding exploration and maybe if Clarke managed to stay alive long enough and Alicia was willing, they could figure out what it was.

“Clarke? Clarke?” her mother’s voice dragged her out of her thoughts and back into reality. “Are you still there?”

“Uh yea, mom I’m here. So the rest of the citizens on the Ark are coming down?” Clarke had just gotten finished telling her mother about the whole infected situation and the lack of a cure. She left out the bit Nick and Alicia hinted at about the vague possibility of a corporation working on a cure because for all she knew it was just a myth invented to help people sleep at night. Besides, her mother had suggested that if they could make it to the ground safety, they might be able to develop one but Clarke didn’t want to get her hopes up.

“We’re trying to, honey. I’ll contact you again when I can. Please be safe. I love you,” Abby says into the static.

“I love you too mom.” Clarke clicks off the com and sits in silence for a while.

She needed some time to wrap her head around everything that was going on in the last few days. It was as if all the thoughts taking root upstairs were clouding were judgement. They kept bringing her back to Finn. She had acted so fast, on impulse really, and she knew it was the right move because she saved Raven’s life but Raven didn’t see it that way. Clarke is just grateful that when she rammed the knife into Finn’s skull he wasn’t looking at her because she couldn’t see those eyes when the life left them. Alicia assured her that there was no life left and she knew she shouldn’t second guess the girl because she’s been surviving on this Earth longer than Clarke but it was hard not to, especially when Raven sulks around all day and throws deadly daggers at her with her eyes.

Raven had come limping back to the camp the morning after the attack looking completely worn out and ragged. She was pushing a cart full of metal wires and electric cords and without a word, began building an electric fence around the camp to keep walkers out and anything else that might be a threat. The only thing she said to Clarke when asked if she was okay was “fuck off.” Clarke obeyed. She would give Raven as much space as she needed.

In the meantime, Bellamy suggested setting up rotating patrol to keep watch over the camp. He had about twenty volunteers and they took turns in shifts of four to keep watch. There had been a few scares with a random infected here and there but nothing major. They had learned to keep the noise down so as not to attract friends and ventured out in packs. So far they had only lost 6 to the virus but Clarke didn’t want to lose anymore. Now that the rest of the Ark was preparing to descend, they could afford to think about long term living arrangements. She would have to ask Alicia about it.

Clarke felt guilty about the way their last visit ended and she found her thoughts drifting to Alicia more and more. The brunette went out of her way to help them and asked for nothing in return. On the outside she was strong but her eyes told a different story. At times they were sad, much like Clarke’s own--like all she really wanted from the world was to form a real connection with somebody. And in the deepest corners of her heart, Clarke secretly hoped it was with her. Sure she could use her help keeping her friends alive but if she was honest with herself, she did enjoy Alicia’s company. Clarke hadn’t really felt the way she felt with Alicia with anyone else before. It was both terrifying and exhilarating. So naturally Clarke was looking forward to the next time she got to see Alicia but she didn’t expect it to be so soon.

The sun was just stretching its arms and ushering in a new day when Bryan, one of the boys stationed as look-out, spotted a group of four people headed their way.  “Code yellow! Code yellow!” he barked. His boyfriend, Miller, quickly appeared next to him, awash with concern.

“What is it?” Miller asked worriedly, resting his hand on Bryan’s shoulder. Bryan tossed him the pair of binoculars they found the other day.

“See for yourself. Our friends brought company,” he replies. And sure enough, as the haze from the hot sun cleared and their feet carried them closer to their destination, the faces of Alicia and Nick appeared accompanied by two unknown people.

“Parents?” Miller asks.

“Maybe.”

“What’s going on!” Bellamy, who just woke up is stretching.

Miller wiggles his eyebrows at the man-candy that just emerged from his tent and Bryan smirks before answering. “We got four live ones headed our way. Looks like T minus 10.”

“Okay let’s act with caution,” Bellamy suggests before going off to warn the others.

“Yeah caution” Bryan says fanning his face like a fangirl who just met the entire cast of her favorite show and is trying not to faint. He and Miller laugh before sneaking a quick kiss and going their separate ways.

 

Clarke’s leaning against a log with her butt on the ground, her eyes closed tightly, and her head tilted toward the sky when she feels the air constrict around her from an added mass and the dirt mumbles in warning of someone’s presence.

“Can’t sleep?” Wells asks her softly. They haven’t truly spoken since the landing and he was looking tired in his own right.

“You could say that. I just got done talking to my mom.” Clarke points to the dropship where the controls and com were located.

“Did you hear from my dad?” Wells asks hopefully. He stilled hadn’t talked to him since the landing and missed him. In fact, none of the others had spoken with their families either. Clarke was the lucky one.

“No. My mom was the only one that picked up. She sounded busy. Apparently they’re trying to come down.”

“When?”

“Soon.” It was all she could give him because she didn’t know much more than that. “You know what I could use right about now?” Clarke begins, sensing the sadness in Wells’ demeanor.

“What’s that, Princess?” he asks affectionately.

“Paint.” Wells laughs heartedly. “Where did you get it from? I always thought you were a magician as a kid, bringing me graphite and charcoal to draw with when it was nearly impossible to get.” Clarke asks in wonderment. She had always wanted to know.

“I spent all my allowances to buy it for you, or stole it.” He confesses.

“Seriously!” Clarke was not expecting that. She figured since his dad was a council member and then Chancellor that he had connections but apparently not. “You shouldn’t have, Wells,” she says seriously.

“I would do anything for you.” He says so quietly that Clarke almost misses it. He looks at her like she makes the sun rise, the Earth spin, and decorates the sky in stars. It hits her. He’s in love with her. He had always had been.

“What were you going to tell me before we crashed?” she asks timidly.

“I think you know,” he responds without looking her in the eyes. Suddenly the horizon is the most interesting thing on the planet.

“Wells, listen...” Clarke begins but before she can finish, his lips are suddenly on hers and his hands are on her thighs pulling her closer. His mouth is warm and eager but Clarke is frozen. She was not expecting this and a part of her wants to push him away while the other half is too confused to form any opinion on the situation. Wells had been her best friend ever since she could remember. But that’s it…a _friend_. She had never thought of him in this way and she doesn’t want to start now. All she can do is wait for it to end and the faster the better.  

When he finally pulls back, Clarke feels the fog begin to clear and she’s glad because she needs to tell him not to do that again. He’s smiling at her and Clarke has to look away because she knows there is only embarrassment in her eyes. It’s then when she looks up into a set of bright green eyes that look anything but excited to see her. Alicia!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madison and Travis finally meet Clarke and the others. Alicia and Nick take them on a supply run where Alicia and Clarke share an unexpected moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while to update. I've been busy working on a case that just went to trial. But I wrote a longer chapter this time to make up for it so enjoy!

Alicia takes in the sight of Clarke’s flushed face, her puffy parted lips, her twinkling blue eyes, the sun filtering through her blonde hair, and she can’t help but feel awed and slightly aroused. It surprises her. Then when her eyes move from Clarke to Wells, an unfamiliar burning develops in her lungs and spreads to her heart. Aren’t they best friends? Best friends with _benefits_ apparently. Not that it matters much; Alicia just didn’t see that coming.

When Wells locks eyes with her, the feeling in her chest deepens and Alicia tries her best to ignore it. She furrows her brow a bit at the thought of what it might be and resists the urge to roll her eyes in annoyance at Wells.

“Alicia? What--what are you doing here? Who are they?” Clarke asks nodding to Travis and Madison standing behind them. She gets off the log where she had been sitting quickly and walks over to the electric fence standing between them. She opens the gate and cautiously walks over to the brunette while Wells watches over her protectively – following her movements and squinting his eyes. It pisses Alicia off.

That’s when Bellamy rounds the corner of the dropship and stalks over to them like a lion on the prowl. “What’s going on?” He scans the situation, taking in two unknown individuals with Nick and Alicia and it makes him uneasy. He sounds slightly concerned.

Alicia decides to break up some of the tension. “Hey. Uhh this is my family.” Alicia introduces them to the group although she’s mainly looking at Clarke. “They wanted proof that I wasn’t lying about you guys falling from the sky in a spaceship.” She explains.

“Well it did sound like a lie,” Travis says defensively. Alicia ignores him and looks back to her mom who is smiling like an idiot.  

“Hi, I’m Madison.” Madison sticks her hand out for Clarke to shake which she does, kindly.

“Clarke. Nice to meet you.”

“And I’m Travis.”

Clarke nods his way. She takes the liberty of introducing the two boys next to her. “This is Bellamy,” she says looking over her shoulder, “and Wells.”

Madison and Travis nod their way and take in the sight before them. The dropship, as Alicia had called it, was large and study. It looked like a makeshift housing unit for the kids which might be way they have yet to wonder off in search of something better.

“Okay can we go now?” Alicia asks once the introductions are done.  

“No we just got here,” her mother counters. She wants to meet everyone and understand just what they were expecting to find down here. “Can we come in?”

“When did this go up?” Nick suddenly points to the fence, hoping his mother’s question goes unnoticed and that she’ll stop being nosy.

“Raven built it.” Clarke answers as she widens the gate in a gesture for him to get through.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Bellamy answers Madison when he sees the group make their way toward the gate.

“Bellamy,” Clarke starts, looking at him sternly. He subtly shakes his head as if to say, don’t argue, but Alicia sees it and this time she can’t contain the eye roll. Men always think they know what’s best. It was annoying at best.

“Look, we don’t want any trouble. We mainly just came down here to see for ourselves the Arkers who just landed on Earth from out of space. It’s not something you see every day,” Travis says.

“No I supposed not,” Bellamy says seriously.

“Well, just try not to draw unwanted attention to yourselves from the walkers. We live around here and there are plenty already. An extra, what, fifty or so people could really change things.” Travis explains.

“Shut up,” Alicia mutters under her breath but it goes unnoticed. Her friends don’t need any help from him. Nick and Alicia had already covered the basics last week.

“We’re not trying to get bit any more than you are,” Wells speaks up defensively.

“He’s just saying that you all should take extra precautions,” Madison suggests as clarification.  

“We can fend for ourselves,” Bellamy responds. He’s having none of it.

You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. This was not getting off to a good start. Alicia never should have brought Madison and Travis here. Of course there’s skepticism and fear from both parties but she needs to figure out a way to mitigate the damage so she can stay friends with these people.

“Maybe we should go now,” Alicia tries again and this time Madison and Travis reluctantly agree, the main purpose of the trip accomplished. She catches Clarke’s eye and the blonde smiles warmly. But then the boy she was kissing earlier walks through the gate and rests his hand on her shoulder. Alicia looks away.

Madison and Travis turn to leave and Nick makes to follow when he sees a dark-haired girl staring at him intently from behind the side of the dropship. She’s resting her hand lightly on the warm metal frame with her legs crossed. She beautiful but looks so broken and angry -- two emotions Nick knows well. He can’t be sure, but he thinks her name is Raven. He wants to say something but she walks away before he can even wave or smile in her direction.

Alicia nudges her brother’s shoulder and they both turn to head home. That’s when she feels a warm hand slide down her forearm and gently catch her wrist. Alicia stops in her tracks frozen. She knows whose hand it is before she even turns around.

“Alicia, wait,” Clarke says softly and gives Alicia’s wrist a small squeeze, telling her to look at her. Alicia turns around but doesn’t have anything to say. Clarke’s the one who wants to say a million things to this girl. _Why are you being so kind? Where is it that you disappear to when you leave? I didn’t want to kiss him._ _I think I might like you._ But the one Clarke finally settles on will have to do. “Are you still going to show me where to get supplies for my people? You said you would the last time I saw you.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Alicia says with monotony.

“Oh, well is it okay if we go today? We could really use some basic medical supplies; extra water bottles; some blankets for the chilly nights...”

Alicia pretends to mull it over. She ops for staring at the brittle grass beneath her feet, trying to pretending Clarke’s hand, which is still resting on her wrist, doesn’t feel as nice as it does. But when she glances down at it, Clarke quickly releases her grasp and lets her hand fall to her side.

Clarke clears her throat. “Please?”

“Okay.” Alicia responds simply after a beat. On the outside she looks unfazed by the request but inside she’s beaming. She gets to spend more time with Clarke. Their conversations make her happy even if they only happen sparingly and any bit of happiness at this point is worth holding onto.

 “Alicia, Nick, come on!” Travis yells at them impatiently from a few yards up.

Nick drags his feet but he starts up the hill without saying anything even though he hates how Travis treats them like kids… his _kids_ which they certainly are not. He can boss around Chris but not Nick and Alicia and not now that they’re grown and the world has gone to shit. Alicia feels the same way so he’s not surprised when Alicia doesn’t follow.

“I’m staying here! I promised I’d help someone with something!” Alicia yells over to Travis and Madison. She can’t tell them details -- that she’s going on a supply run to the next village with only a few bullets in an old gun Nick secretly gave her. The whole crew always goes together and her mom and Travis would flip their shit if they knew she planned to make the trip alone with people she hardly knew.

“We have stuff we need to do on the farm and I don’t want you making the journey back alone. It’s quite a way away.” Madison projects.  

“I’m staying.” Alicia stands firm and refuses to budge.

Nick expects nothing less and he wouldn’t mind staying behind with her since it’s better than being stuck with the same people all damn day on the farm. Plus, he’s intrigued at what she has planned and he knows there’s a plan because there always is. “I’ll stay. We’ll be fine,” he tries to convince his them.

Madison looks livid but then Travis rests a hand unexpectedly on her shoulder as if to say, “let them have this one.” They exchange a few hushes words that go unheard before Madison reluctantly agrees. Nick and Alicia have been hanging out with these kids for weeks now and nothing’s happened so what’s one more day? Besides, Alicia and Nick could use some friends. She understands their struggles; she used to be a school counselor after all. She knows life can be pretty boring now and some socialization could be just what they need.  

“All right but be careful and be home by dark!” Madison yells over to her kids but Nick and Alicia are already ignoring her. Nick nods a quick thanks to Travis who returns the gesture. Travis glances at Alicia as if to say goodbye but she avoids his wanted eye contact so he gives up and joins Madison on the road.

Alicia smirks at Nick and he shakes his head. “Let’s just not die today okay?” He asks before walking into the camp and joining the others.

 

They have to rig a few cars in order to travel to the next town to get supplies and Nick and Raven compete at who can do it the fastest. Nick settles on a rusty blue Ford F-150 for the haul; a couple of people, including the Blake siblings, Monty, and Jasper excitedly pilling in the back. Raven picks a Jeep Wrangler that some sociologist studying the locals probably abandoned when the virus hit. She’s never driven a car before, let alone seen one in person, so the first few miles are rough but eventually she gets the hang of it and her and Nick are racing down the street, everyone laughing, looking young and free, despite the mess around them.

Meanwhile, Alicia, who’s obviously riding with Clarke without either girl explicitly discussing it, smiles mischievously when she sees what she wants to drive.

“You can’t be serious,” Clarke says shaking her head but she’s laughing in excitement because she knows Alicia is.

“Scared?” Alicia teases as she throws her bag on her back and swings her leg over the side of the shiny black, fixed up 1980s Harley Davison they found parked in the backyard of a modest house. The owner must have been fixing it up on the weekends as a hobby because the bike looked brand new. Shame he or she was probably now a rotting, drooling, face-sucking walker because if not, there’s no way that bike would have been left behind.

“A little. Yes.” Clarke responds, but she hops behind Alicia anyway and doesn’t hesitate to hold onto her waist. “We obviously didn’t have cars and motorcycles in space.” She clarifies.

“Guess not.” Alicia says smiling. This was going to be fun.

“You have done this before right?”

“What, driven? Of course.” Alicia responds. She purposefully leaves out “a motorcycle” just to freak Clarke out a bit more even though she has driven one before.

Clarke swallows shakily, grabbing Alicia tightly. “Lead the way.”

“You got it.” Alicia roars the bike to life and it turns heads. Nick looks like he’s choking on a piece of food when she pulls out of the backyard, into the ally and out onto the street where the others are waiting. Raven has never been more jealous. What a beauty. Classic. What she wouldn’t give to take that bike apart. And Wells is just plain suspicious. Who _is_ this girl? And why is Clarke hanging around her? Clarke hadn’t said one word to him since the kiss. He’s not a dense guy so he gets the message but he just wishes she would at least have the decency to tell him straight up that she’s not into him since they have been friends their whole lives. But Clarke just holds onto Alicia grinning the whole ride and doesn’t spare Wells a single glance.

 

The narrow path to the next town takes them through the dusty desert dotted with cacti, desert scrub, wildflowers, a few lonely walkers. They’re headed toward the coast. It takes a half an hour from the time they rig the cars to the time they arrive. It’s a larger town Alicia likes to call El Centre –named after the shopping mall in the center of town. It’s your typical Baja half rural/half urban town with one major paved street going from end to end littered with tiny mom and pop shops, larger grocery stores, plenty of bars, and a few gas stations. Some of the buildings have art painted on the outside walls ranging from religious depictions of _Virgen de Guadalupe_ and colorful _Día de los Muertos_ skulls to cultural legends.

Narrow red dirt roads lead to tiny secluded houses, two decent size churches, and a large grade school. A heavily traveled path curves down a rocky slope and into a cream-colored sandy beach where white waves repeatedly flood the shore only to retreat back out to the turquoise blue ocean a second later. It’s a hidden gem and Clarke loves it and it makes her wish she had brought her sketch book.

Alicia and Nick pull off the main road stop at a fork in the road. One fork leads to some small stores and dunes where the residents used to ride RVs for fun and the other to a small housing community. It’s where they usually stop when they come on supply runs.

They agree to separate into groups of two or three to hit more places and to regroup in a couple hours. Wells walks over to where Clarke is standing next to Alicia and grabs her arm, pulling her to the side and out of eyeshot of the others.

“So I was hoping you would stick with me today,” he begins.

“I figured I would go with Alicia since she knows where I can find what I’m looking for,” Clarke says, coming up with an excuse to not partner with him. It’s not that she’s mad at him but she needs some space.

“And you trust her?” He asks.

“Of course! She saved my life and she’s been nothing but kind to us.” Clarke responds defensively.

Wells pauses for beat before he tackles the elephant in the room. “Is this because of the kiss?” Clarke softens her expression and stares at him knowingly. She doesn’t have to say anything before Wells continues. “Look, I get it. We’re friends but you aren’t into me in that way, right?”

“Wells, you’re my best friend and I love you but…no. Not in that way.”

Wells nods a couple of times and swallows dryly. “Okay.” There’s long silence before he continues as if he’s gathering up the courage to say it. “So you’re into her?”

Clarke wasn’t expecting that. Just because she rode over here with Alicia doesn’t mean she’s into her. She’s only seen her a couple of times. Barely enough to even qualify them as friends let alone potential lovers, but she doesn’t deny that there may be something there. But she’s saved from responding when Alicia walks over.   

“Are you coming?” Alicia asks. She senses the tension in the air and quickly adds, “I can go with Nick.”

“No need. I actually told someone else I’d partner with them. I just wanted to say hi to Clarke.” Wells turns to leave. Clarke calls after him and he flashes her smile but doesn’t stop.

“Did I interrupt something?” Alicia asks when she sees Clarke looking a little dejected.

“No, not at all. Let’s go.” Clarke says and they head off toward the housing community.

 

The first row of townhouses Nick and Alicia have already picked clean so they move around back to another identical row that remains untouched. Alicia and Clarke pick the first house on the right where Alicia shows Clarkes how to “clear” the outside and inside of the house to make sure it’s safe from walkers. Alicia lets Clarke take her gun while she grabs the broken end of the drain pipe on the side of the driveway. It doesn’t take long to clear the outside of the house, only running into a slow walker wandering around out back. He goes down easy and the girls proceed inside. Once it’s cleared,

“Okay, so I tend to look for any canned food, bottles of water, medical supplies like Band-Aids, scissors, and stuff.  I’ll upstairs and see if I can find anything useful for you. But I also want to raid the closest.” Alicia laughs and Clarke smiles. Alicia’s laugh is so endearing.

“Sounds good,” Clarke responds.

Clarke loads her bag with everything she can find and use. It’s not much but it’ll help. The bathroom had rubbing alcohol, toothpaste, painkillers, toilet paper, towels, soap, and all the other amenities they had been taking for granted on the Ark. Plus, Clarke couldn’t have been happier to see that the shower worked. All she wanted was to take a shower. The water wasn’t hot and it came out a rusty brown at first but after running it for a bit it cleared. She didn’t mind the cold. It was better than the tiny spring her and the others had been using to wash.

Clarke dumps her goodie bag on the toilet, sheds her clothes and jumps into the shower. There is fruity smelling shampoo and conditioner on the side of the tub and a homemade bar of soap that smells like oatmeal in a white plastic basket handing around the neck of the shower head.

Clarke takes her sweet time, washing her hair thoroughly and her body twice. She lets the water run over her face and drown out the pain she’s been feeling for killing Finn, losing her father, missing her mom, and living in an unfamiliar place.  

Clarke loses track of time but she eventually turns off the water and steps out the shower. She’s reaching for the towel hanging next to the shower when the bathroom door unexpectedly pushes opens and Alicia pops her head in.

“Find anything good? I found this leather--” Alicia starts normally, but when Clarke gasps and jumps in surprise she realizes what’s happening.

Clarke’s standing there naked, frozen in surprise and Alicia can’t take her eyes off her. The moment only lasts a second before Clarke quickly covers herself with the towel but that second is plenty of time for Alicia to take in the sight before her.

She sees Clarke’s supple and perky pink nipples. She watches water droplets slide down Clarke’s flat toned stomach. She takes in Clarkes curvy hips and the plump flesh at the apex of her thighs.

Alicia thinks her heart might leap out of her chest. She knows she should close the door but she just can’t tear her eyes away. She should feel like a creep but the little voice of reason in the back of her head is silenced by Clarke’s beauty. A rush of blood reddens Alicia’s cheeks and all she wants to do is run. But where to she can’t tell – to Clarke who’s looking like some kind of beckoning goddess or to fresh air and clear-headedness. But before she decides the second’s over and Clarke is clumsily covering herself with the white towel.

“Sorry!” Alicia yells before slamming the door. She curses herself for not knocking and rubs the embarrassment off her face. She lightly bangs her head against the wall to try to block out the mental image of Clarke that’s flooding her mind. This was the second time today she has shamelessly stared at Clarke. It’s like Clarke has her mesmerized.

And that’s when the name of the feeling she couldn’t place earlier today when she saw Clarke and Wells kissing hits her. Jealousy. She was jealous that someone other than her was kissing Clarke. But how could that be? Clarke is just a friend --a _girl_ friend--and Alicia doesn’t like girls. Right?

Alicia’s resting her head against the hallway wall in confusion when Clarke comes out the bathroom a minute later, fully dressed and holding her backpack. Her cheeks are just a red as Alicia’s.

Clarke can see the confusion and embarrassment clear on Alicia’s face and she knows she should say something but Alicia briskly walks out the house before she can get a single word out. They walk back to the motorcycle, the silence between them large enough to fill an auditorium.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia and Clarke get to know one another better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pure fluff this chapter! The next few chapters advance the plot so I thought a chapter full of Alicia and Clarke would be nice before this story really takes off.  
> For further reading pleasure, I suggest listening to Fifteen by Goldroom (Oxford Remix) while reading this chapter. Enjoy!

Alicia’s acutely aware of Clarke’s fingers lightly pressing into her hips and the warmth of Clarke’s thighs cradling her own. Cool ocean air caresses Alicia’s face and twirls around her hair as she speeds down the narrow road headed back to camp. She’s still thinking about what happened earlier. She shouldn’t be, but the heat that pools in her lower belly when she does is addictive.

Alicia realizes that every time she’s with Clarke her heart races and she can’t find the right words to say. She doesn’t know what to make of this change or how to get it to go away. Alicia’s never been an awkward one but now that’s all she seems to be.

So instead of making a fool of herself like she did back at the house, Alicia tries to simply focus on the task at hand: driving. They’re about halfway back to camp and the drive is peaceful. They’re far ahead of the rest which makes it seem like her and Clarke are just going for a drive. It’s intimate. When Clarke shifts behind her, pressing in closer against her back, Alicia thinks she can actually hear the pounding of her heart over the hum of the wind.

Both girls want to break the silence but neither know what to say. It feels like the longer they go without acknowledging each other, the further they spiral down this rabbit hole of uneasiness from which they may never return. It really shouldn’t be a big deal and in actuality it’s not. Alicia knows this and so does Clarke but the feelings toward one another that surfaced in that moment _are_ a big deal. They need to be addressed and Clarke’s the first to speak up.

“Alicia,” she begins, over the roar of the wind. Alicia responds by slowing down a bit to quiet the air around them. “About earlier--”

“Yeah, about that,” Alicia swallows thickly. “I’m sorry for barging in. I was just excited about this cute leather jacket I found that I thought you would like.” It’s the truth but it’s not what she really wants to say to Clarke. _I froze because you’re stunning._ Even thinking about it makes Alicia flush.

“You found something for me?” Clarke asks.

 “It’s in my bag.” She points to the brown bag slung around her hip and smiles.

Clarke smiles back. “I’m sure I’ll like it.”

It feels like they’ve cleared the air a bit, well as much as could be done on a motorcycle speeding down the highway.

Then, Alicia sees a familiar dirt road, almost a footpath, winding off the road and up the hill to their right. She’s taken it once before and smiles at the memory. Her, Nick, Ofelia, and Chris had gone on a supply run together a couple months back and decided to see where this random road led and it was a great decision. Clarke would like it there.

If she continues straight, Alicia will end up dropping Clarke off at camp and going home. She probably won’t even see her again for another week or two while they go on with their daily lives. And suddenly it seems so bleak. She doesn’t want the day to end; not with the shower fiasco hanging over their heads. She rather spend more time with Clarke, get to know her better, show her the spot she found and relax. It would be fun.

“Do you wanna go somewhere?” Alicia asks before she realizes it. She slows the bike down again to give them the chance to talk without the wind muffling their conversation.

“Now?” Clarke staggers.

“Now.” Alicia confirms and holds her breath. She hopes Clarke says yes.

It takes Clarke by surprise but when she thinks about it, that’s exactly what she wants to do. She wants to escape the suffocating awkwardness between her and Wells, escape Raven’s death glares, escape Bellamy’s watchful eye. For once since they’ve landed on the ground, she wants to just _be_ and not have to worry about anything. Alicia’s offering her this and it’s a breath of fresh air.  

“Yes.” Clarke says breathlessly.

“Okay. I know just the spot,” Alicia replies with a wide smile and she feels that familiar warmth spread through her again.

She doesn’t tell the others of their little adventure because she wants Clarke to herself. Everyone would surely want to follow if they knew. Alicia can only hope that Nick will notice the path and put two and two together.  

Alicia makes the sharp turn off the road and away from the caravan. Clarke wraps her arms around Alicia’s waist to keep steady and it feels right.

 

Ironically, Nick’s the first to notice the girls breaking away from the pack without as much as a backwards glance and he hits the breaks alarmed. Raven, who’s trailing close behind him, does the same, looking confused and slightly annoyed.

“What the hell?” Raven says, getting out the car.

“Alicia and Clarke just took off,” Nick tells her. Others join them on the road, curious.

“Why would she do that?” Wells asks.

“We should all be sticking together.” Bellamy says annoyed.

“Maybe they’re just going to hit up another spot before meeting us back at camp,” Octavia offers calmly.

“Then why not tell us?” Wells comments.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” Octavia replies. “Clarke can take care of herself.”

Nick looks to where Clarke and Alicia turned off and notes the narrow path leading up the cliff. The memory of exploring that road flashes in his mind. He smiles to himself at Alicia’s choice in destinations.  

“Octavia’s right. They’ll be fine. I know where they’re headed and it’s safe.” Nick says calmly.

“And where’s that?” Bellamy questions. If Clarke’s going they’re all going.

Nick knows Alicia would have told them if she meant for everyone to tag along so he opts for the easy lie. “Just a tiny market that has candy and trinkets. It’s not picked over and it’s so small, only one or two people really need to go look. Alicia probably just wants to grab a pack of gum.”

Octavia accepts the answer but Wells and Bell don’t look as convinced. Nevertheless, when Raven sighs and starts to walk back to the jeep, they don’t have a choice but to follow.

During the rest of the drive, Nick thinks about Alicia’s interactions with Clarke. He recalls how Alicia’s face lights up whenever Clarke looks at her and the way Clark seems to always lean in when Alicia speaks. They dance around each other like they're trying to avoid getting too close and yet continuously do just that. And that’s when it hits him. They _like_ each other. He chuckles to himself, proud of his deduction skills and wonders if they even realize it. Whether they do or don't, Nick's just glad his sister has someone to brighten her day. She needs that. Nick looks out the side door mirror at the jeep following closely behind him. Does he have _someone_?

 

As soon as Alicia pulls up and stops the bike, Clarke sighs in awe. The first thing she notices is the view. They’re standing on a relatively tall bluff overlooking the Sea of Cortez. The soft inhale and exhale of the ocean surrounds them. Pink flowers grow around the edges of the sandy plateau they’re standing on. On the left, a hammock swings in the breeze, fastened to two large fruit trees. On the right, a wooden ladder is bolted to the side of the cliff, seemingly leading to nowhere but the rocky shoreline below.

It’s beautiful and Clarke’s instantly in love. She only wishes she had her sketchbook. When she glances at the Alicia, the brunette is smiling proudly at her.

“Nice isn’t it?” Alicia says.

“Nice? It’s amazing. How did you find this place?” Clarke gushes walking up to the ledge, overlooking the water. Sharp rocks jut out from the sand below. They rise in sharp contrast to the welcoming blue tide pools surrounding them.

“I found it a few months ago heading home from town. There’s more.” Alicia grabs hold of Clarke’s hand and pulls her off to the side of the cliff where the wooden ladder is. “Come on.”

Alicia takes hold of the rings and begins to descend. She’s only done this once before so she goes slowly but the fear passes quickly.

“That does not look safe,” Clarke says, eyeing Alicia worriedly.

“It’s fine. Besides, this is worth it.” Finally, she reaches her destination and steps off the bottom ring and disappears into the side of the cliff.

“Alicia!”  Clarke yells.

“Come down!” Alicia responds.

Clarke’s hesitant but she does as she’s told and steps onto the first ring of the ladder. She counts her steps while she lowers herself down ring by ring in order to distract her from the creaking wood and sloshing of waves against the deadly sharp rocks below her. One wrong step and it’s over. Her eyes are closed and she’s gripping the ladder tightly, her knuckles turning white. Then she feels a soft hand grab hold of her wrist and give it a light tug. The discomfort ebbs away.

“It’s okay. Let go. I’ve got you,” Alicia says softly and Clarke believes her.

Alicia helps Clarke step into a small alcove in the rocks, just barely big enough to fit in. They sit cross-legged near the edge facing the ocean. Behind them, against the back wall, religious candles flank a small wooden cross which is draped in rosary beads. The picture of a beautiful woman leans against its base.

Alicia sees Clarke looking at the set up behind them and explains. “I think someone used to pray in here.” She says quietly.

Clarke nods understanding. No one on the Ark was very religious but she knew about religion and its prevalence on Earth.

“Are you religious?” Clarke asks Alicia.

“No.” Alicia responds after sometime. “But I like coming here and I don’t have the heart to remove anything. There’s no point and it doesn’t bother me. In fact, it’s oddly comforting to know someone else found this spot special.” Alicia leans her head against the inside wall and brings her knees to her chest. She can tell Clarke is looking at her intently so Alicia decides to lighten the mood. “Plus you can’t beat this view,” Alicia adds with a smirk.

Clarke smiles. “It is beautiful.”

Alicia nods, turning her eyes away from the ocean to look at Clarke. She’s blatantly staring again but Clarke doesn't seem to mind. She just smiles back.

They watch the waves crash against the shore for a while. Seagulls land on the rocks and the foam from the waves pours into the green tide the pools, overflowing them again and again. From up here, everything looks normal. There’s not a walker in sight.  

“The water looks so warm,” Clarke notes. “I wish I could swim.”

“You can’t swim?” Alicia asks surprised although she shouldn’t be. They probably didn’t have a pool on the space center.

“No.” Clarke laughs innocently.

“Well, it’s not hard. I can teach you,” Alicia suggests.

“You don’t have to do that,” Clarke says.

“I know but the offer stands…whenever you want.”

“Okay.” Clarke responds. They sit in silence again but it’s not uncomfortable. It’s peaceful and the orange sky makes it almost romantic. “Do you like any sports?” Clarke asks. She suddenly wants to learn much more about Alicia before the night’s over.

“Sports? Um, my dad used to love the Dodgers. We went to see them play a couple times and I’d watch the games with my dad. I was really into it when I was younger, even played softball for a few years but then my dad died and it just wasn’t the same,” Alicia says solemnly.

“I’m sorry. So Travis?” Clarke begins.

“He’s not my dad. He’s my mom’s boyfriend.” Alicia clarifies. “We aren’t close.”

Clarke nods. She understands that. After her dad died, her mom started seeing her old boyfriend Marcus Kane again. It was a shock to say the least.

“My dad died too,” Clarke tells her. It’s not comforting but at least Alicia will know she understands the pain of losing a parent.

"I'm sorry, Clarke.” Alicia says. She reaches out to hold Clarke’s hand. They fit like two pieces of a puzzle.

“It’s okay. We used to watch soccer together.”  

“You’re into soccer?” Alicia asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes,” Clarke laughs. My mom, my dad, Wells, his dad, and I would all watch matches together back on the Ark.”

Alicia had forgotten about Wells until this point and that burning feeling in her chest from this morning returns at the mention of his name. She lets go of Clarke’s hand and the air thickens.

“So Wells…he’s like your boyfriend?” Alicia tries to sound as normal as possible to avoid any implications but it comes out the opposite.

“No!” Clarke shakes her head. “No, he’s my best friend. The other day when I—Well, that’s never happened before.” Clarke stammers.

“So you don’t like him in that way?” Alicia clarifies.

“No,” Clarke says definitively. Definitely not.

Alicia nods and suppresses a smile. Ordinarily she wouldn’t care if a friend of hers was dating someone or not but with Clarke it’s different. Everything’s different with her. She’s special.

“Good,” Alicia says bravely and she looks directly into Clarke’s eyes to show she means it. Then she takes hold of Clarke’s hand again.

It’s impossible for Clarke to hide the red bloom in her cheeks in such a small space so she doesn’t even try. She just smiles brightly. When she notices that a piece of rogue hair is falling into Alicia’s face, Clarke gently tucks it back into place with her free hand and this time it’s Alicia’s turn to blush. And when she does, Clarke feels like she’s falling.

“I have an idea,” Alicia says after a while. “Let’s go.” Alicia lets go of Clarke’s hand and stands. Then she grabs onto the wooden ladder and starts to climb without further warning.

Clarke stays behind for a few moments to clear her head. All she wants to do is kiss Alicia but she doesn’t want to do anything to ruin their friendship. She can’t be sure how Alicia feels without asking her, but she has seen the way the brunette looks at her and it makes her think that she might feel the same way as Clarke.

When Clarke gets to the top of the bluff she sees Alicia rummaging through her bag with a leather jacket slung over her shoulder. So Clarke takes the opportunity to check out the hammock. She walks over and sits down with her legs dangling over the side. She closes her eyes for a moment and reveals in the feel of the cool breeze on her face and the sounds of the ocean. This might just be paradise.

“Found it,” Alicia says walking over to Clarke and holding out a tub of something for Clarke to take. Then she grabs the blue-gray jacket off her shoulder. “I also thought you might want this. The nights can get a little chilly, especially by the water.”

Alicia drapes the jacket over Clarke’s shoulders, takes back the tub, and sits across from Clarke on the other side of the hammock so they can both fit. She twists the cap off the jar, smells the contents, and beams. Smiling, Alicia dips her finger in the jar and pulls out what looks like chocolate before bringing it to her lips and sucking her finger clean.

As Clarke watches her mouth goes dry. Alicia’s _got_ to be doing this on purpose. And then the brunette does it again before stretching out her arm to pass the tub to Clarke.

“Your turn. It’s good. It’s called Nutella,” Alicia offers. She can tell by the look Clarke’s giving her that they didn’t have this in space. “Try it.”

“That’s not very sanitary,” Clarke says while Alicia licks the remaining Nutella off her finger. "You could get sick."

“The only sickness I’m worried about is The Virus. Live a little.” Alicia responds with a smirk.

Clarke rolls her eyes but she dips her finger in the jar and scoops out a tiny bit of Nutella. It tastes way better than expected. "This might just be my new favorite thing,” Clarke says. Although she’s talking about the Nutella, Alicia’s face is all she sees.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone celebrates the success of the supply run, Clarke and Alicia confront their feelings for one another, and there's an unexpected turn of events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *spoiler*  
> Listen to Just A Kiss by Lady Antebellum while reading this! It's perfect.

If she didn’t know better, Clarke would say Alicia taking her to the bluff today was a date, the perfect date, and Clarke can’t help but smirk and blush. Alicia looks back from her place at the front of the motorcycle just in time to catch it.

Alicia raises an eyebrow in question while she gets off the bike and then helps Clarke do the same.

“I had a nice day.” Clarke says innocently.

Alicia grins. “Yeah, it was fun.” She notices that Clarke is shamelessly staring at her so she takes the opportunity to do the same and almost gets lost in those blue eyes of hers. She looks away when she hears Clarke laugh at her obviousness.

Clarke’s wearing the jacket Alicia gave her and it looks good on her. Alicia’s glad she found it because the air around them is rapidly cooling now that the sun has retired for the day. Alicia puts on the wrinkled plaid shirt she’s had tied around her waist all day to starve off the chill seeping into her bones.

The pair empty the supplies they found in the dropship with the rest of the necessities and afterwards Alicia turns to leave.

“Do you have to go?” Clarke asks brazenly, hoping the answer’s no.

“Well usually Nick and I go back before it gets dark,” Alicia starts. She watches Clarke’s reaction carefully. And when she sees the subtle hint of disappointment in Clarke’s eyes, she continues with a grin. “But since it’s already dark, there’s no harm in staying a bit longer, right?”

“Exactly. Monty apparently has a surprise for us that I don’t think you’ll want to miss,” Clarke replies before happily taking ahold of Alicia’s hand and pulling her over to the camp fire where the majority of her companions are already sitting and drinking from solo cups.

“Clarke!” Monty shouts when Clarke and Alicia reach the large bonfire which is crackling and sparkling like a beacon in the night. His face is flushed and he’s more enthusiastic than usual. “Right on time!” He pushes a red plastic cup into her hand and subsequently pours dark liquid from the bottle he’s cradling. Then he does the same for Alicia and she nods in appreciation.

Alicia smells the liquid in her cup and a strong burning scent of liquor fills her nostrils. She shudders but takes a gulp. Whiskey. She could do worse.

Clarke watches her curiously before doing the same and wincing as the liquid goes down her throat. “What the hell is this?” she asks while scrunching her face at the taste.

“Whiskey!” Monty yells happily. “I found a case today.”

“That’s what you brought back from the trip?” Clarke looks at him faking disappointment.

“What! We could use a little fun around here,” he defends. Alicia laughs and shrugs when Clarke squints in her direction. “Now, drink up! We’re celebrating!” Monty exclaims before downing the rest of the whiskey in his cup.

“Celebrating what?” Alicia asks.

“Making it back from the supply run alive!” Monty says half sarcastically but the hallow laugh that follows isn’t missed by either of them. The last time they went hunting for supplies on their own, people were bitten, lives were lost. At least this time, everyone managed to stay bite-free and in one piece.

But Monty seems to quickly forget about his troubles as he stumbles away toward a girl named Harper and puts his arm around her shoulder affectionately. She smiles brightly and appears to enjoy his attention. Clarke shakes her head, admiring his forwardness, and sits down by Alicia on one of the logs surrounding the fire pit.

Alicia can’t help but feel like the day’s come full circle. It was just this morning she saw Clarke nearly in this same spot kissing Wells. She has to look around to clear the mental image and bitter pang of jealousy. Her eyes land on Nick who’s standing outside the dropship laughing with some of the guys, drinking whiskey, and smoking a cigarette. He lets the youngest-looking one take a drag and the boy coughs violently. Nick and the others double over laughing and she thinks things seem almost normal again, like before the virus, before the drugs, before her father’s death.

After some time spent watching her brother and thinking about a world that doesn’t exist anymore, Alicia feels Clarke gently nudge her shoulder.

“You’re thinking too hard.” Clarke says and Alicia smiles back timidly but doesn’t say anything. Her eyes look sad. “What is it?”

“Sometimes I’ll get a glimpse of life before the virus and I can’t help but think it was over before I knew it started. It was all over.”

“What do you miss the most?” Clarke asks quietly.

“Everything. My life. Matt. Berkeley. It’s not fair. I’ve had to do so many things since then…bad things. People have died. The girl I was then, wouldn’t recognize me now.” Alicia looks down at the last bit of whiskey in her cup and drinks it eagerly.

“We do what we must to survive.” Clarke offers even though she’s not just saying it to comfort Alicia. She’s done things too. She has blood on her hands too.

“Maybe life should be more than just surviving.” Alicia says bitterly. “Don’t we deserve better than that?”

“I think we do.” Clarke says, taking Alicia’s hand, that’s resting in the space between them, in her own and giving it a little squeeze. She hopes the tiny comfort it brings will be enough.

“Sorry. I guess it’s the alcohol.” Alicia shakes her empty cup.

“I don’t mind. I’m just glad to get to know you better.”

When Clarke finishes her second drink, the floating-like sensation of just-enough liquor is taking over and she smiles happily at Alicia, who appears to have now moved on to the happy stage of being drunk as well. They’re holding hands and talking about anything and everything.

Alicia explains to Clarke that before the virus she was dating a guy named Matt, planning on going to Berkeley, and only had to worry about whether or not her brother was finally going to get clean. Now she worries about whether he or anyone else in her family will get bitten, whether they’ll run out of food and clean water or be killed in the middle of the night, if not by walkers then by looters or thieves. Clarke has to take Alicia’s face into her hands to silence her worrying and Alicia smiles at the gesture and leans her face into Clarke’s palm tenderly.

And like Alicia, Clarke shares stories from her life on the Ark. She describes what it was like living in space --never feeling the sun on her face or breathing fresh air. She explains how Wells would sneak her chalk so she could draw, which is still her favor thing to do. She tells Alicia how brave her dad was for going against the Council and telling everyone about the virus, even if it did get him killed. She even mentions Niylah and her selfish attempt to drown out the pain of losing him.

“She always had a crush on me that I ignored most of the time. But after my dad was floated, I just needed to feel something.”

“I understand that need. I was like that after Matt died. That’s when I did this.” Alicia lifts her sleeve and shows Clarke the tattoo she gave herself of Matt’s drawing on her forearm. “He drew this for me just before he died. He loved art…like you.”

Clarke looks into Alicia’s eyes and finds a glimmer there. _Damn she’s beautiful._ Clarke thinks. Her eyes uncontrollably flicker to Alicia’s lips. Her teeth are sexily chewing on the bottom lip. _Don’t, Clarke. You’re drunk, she’s drunk. It’ll end in disaster because she probably doesn’t even like you._

But any potential voice of reason is dampened by the rushing of blood in Clarke’s ears. The alcohol may be clouding her thoughts but the only clarity she needs is Alicia: Alicia’s kind eyes; Alicia’s soft smile; Alicia’s inviting lips. And just like that Clarke is rapidly spiraling down the rabbit hole to Wonderland.  

Alicia is not blind to the look Clarke’s giving her. In fact, she’s staring at Clarke’s lips too. She can see something in Clarke’s expression that hints at her next move but Alicia doesn’t run. She doesn’t even breathe. She’s frozen in place by her own curiosity.

When she feels Clarke’s soft lips on her own, a tension she didn’t even know she was carrying releases from her body and she melts like ice cream on a sunny day.

Maybe it’s the warm pulse that Clarke’s lips seem to emit when they brush against her own, or maybe it’s the warmth that spreads into Alicia’s cheeks and turns them pink, that makes Alicia dizzy for more.

For a split second Alicia’s frozen, as if she’s a twelve-year-old kid again sharing her first kiss with her next door neighbor, but then everything comes back into focus as quickly as it fell away and she’s urgently kissing Clarke back.

Her stomach flips when Clarke’s tongue smoothly grazes across the bottom lip she was just chewing on and she immediately parts her lips in response. Alicia grabs the back of Clarke’s neck to deepen the kiss further. Her right hand finds a resting place on Clarke’s hip bone that’s naughtily jutting out the top of Clarke’s jeans and she presses down to hold Clarke in place. Heat rapidly pours into her lower abdomen when she thinks about what it would feel like to brush her finger under the bottom of Clarke’s shirt and over the smooth, tone flesh of her stomach.

Alicia’s hunger grows in the passing seconds and the heat sparking in her stomach turns into a flame and travels impossibly lower when Clarke starts nipping at her bottom lip and it steals her breath away.

That’s when she becomes suddenly aware of the burning need that only Clarke can satiate and it scares her because she realizes she wants Clarke more than she’s ever wanted anyone before. The silent confession overwhelms her to the point where she has to pull back. Alicia breaks the kiss by turning her head away and then touches her trembling lips. They’re _tingling_.

“Alicia,” Clarke whispers, which is barely audible above the roar of people laughing from the party and the sputtering bonfire in front of them. "Wait.” But Alicia’s already turning away before the “t” leaves her lips.

“I’m sorry,” Alicia mutters, a hand still covering her mouth in a daze. But Clarke doesn’t hear her. She’s half way to the gate by then.

 

“So today was fun,” Nick says, scratching the back of his head and ruffling his hair a bit as Raven passes by his spot near the dropship.

“Today was necessary for our survival. That’s all,” Raven says bitterly. She’s lugging two heavy bags full of supplies and electronics over her shoulders.

“Let me get those for you,” Nick offers.

Raven scoffs. “Maybe next time.” She walks past Nick, knocking her shoulder into his, and into the dropship.

“Smooth, Nick. Smooth,” Nick says to himself. He shakes his head in an attempt to try and expel the failure but it’s useless.

“You’re gonna have to try a little harder than that.” Bellamy rounds the corner and for once, he doesn’t look stressed or angry. Nick notes the solo cup in Bellamy’s hand and it clicks.

“I’m working on it,” Nick responds a little wounded. He’s playing the long game. Sure she’s not like any other girl he’s pursued but he likes a challenge and what else is there to do? Plus, Raven’s different. Nick actually has things in common with her and she’s not a bad influence like the others were– not that he needs to worry about that anymore. He hasn’t been a fuckup in a while and he’s not in any hurry to go back to the person he used to be. This apocalypse has given him a second chance and he intends to make the most of it.

Nick’s about to refill his cup when he looks up and sees his sister half-walking, half-running away from the campfire with Clarke in tow, futilely calling out to her.

“Alicia? Alicia, wait!” Nick yells after her. By the time he catches up to her, she’s outside the electric fence surrounding the camp and halfway to the road. “What’s wrong?” He asks, grabbing her arm roughly and pulling her to a stop. Maybe it’s the moonlight or maybe his eyes are playing tricks on him but it looks like there are tears in her eyes that she’s trying her hardest not to let fall.  

Alicia shakes her head. She feels like a fool for running. Everything in her being is screaming out for Clarke and yet she’s holding back and not because she’s afraid of the pull she’s feeling toward another woman. Her shaky, sweaty hands are hypocrisy at its finest because she’s afraid she’s growing attached to someone who could be here today and gone tomorrow. She’s afraid of living, rather than just surviving. And it’s a deep-seated, breathtakingly painful fear that only those truly on the brink of madness know. The madness of love. Alicia can see herself _loving_ this girl.

And yet, the slithering monster of dread threatens to swallow the light Clarke brings her in darkness because Alicia knows –she just _knows_ –that the only way this ends is in heartbreak.

Realistically, how long are any of them going to survive in a world filled with the walking dead? There are more infected than there are not and the ratio grows against their favor daily. It’s only a matter of time before one of them gets bitten. And Alicia can’t live with the thought of it being Clarke. Not again.

“Nothing. Let’s just go home,” Alicia responds curtly, wishing he drops it.

And he does.

 

When Alicia and Nick get back to the farm, it’s late and everyone appears to be asleep. That is, until Alicia and Nick ascend the stairs to their rooms and Chris is waiting for them on the top step, his arms folded across his chest and his head tiredly resting against his knees.

“What the hell, Chris!” Alicia exclaims, wiping away the sweat from her brow.

He jolts awake. “You and Nick have been sneaking out,” Chris informs them mater-of-factly.

“Yeah, well Mom and Travis already know about it so you’re late to the party.” Alicia bites and he looks dejected for a moment.

Chris, stands and brushes the mop of hair on his head out of his face. “Take me with you.”

“No,” Nick says quickly.

“I’m not a kid. I’ll follow you regardless.” He’s smug at this and he knows that short of tying him up, they don’t have the ability to stop him.

Alicia couldn’t be more annoyed. Why does Chris feel the need to get involved in everything? The camp is where she goes to get away from all of this. It’s bad enough she has to spend the rest of the time on the farm with him hanging around and pestering her like a spoiled child.

“Fine! Whatever. Just don’t get in the way and _don’t_ get bitten.” Alicia says before she stomps off to her room and the resists the urge to slam the door. She doesn’t want to give Chris that satisfaction. Instead, she yanks off her clothes and dives into bed, hoping sleep comes fast.

But it doesn’t. Of course it doesn’t. Because she kissed Clarke just an hours ago and the remnants of the spark between them is still on her lips. The softness of Clarke’s face and neck still linger on her fingertips. The picture of Clarke’s lips is painted on the back of her eyelids and their sweetness is still haunting her tongue. And above all else, a raw desire from it replaying over and over again in her head is fueling the warmth pooling between her legs. Alicia wonders if she’ll ever be able to fall asleep now that she’s gotten a taste of what she’s been so miserably ignoring for weeks now.

But eventually she does and it’s worth the wait because her dream ends her night the way it should have happened:

_“Clarke?” Alicia calls out to the blond who’s still sitting on the fallen tree trunk._

_“Alicia?” Clarke spins around, her brow wrinkled and eyes wide in surprise. She quickly stands. “I thought you left?”_

_“I did… I mean, I was going to, but I realized that I forgot something.”_

_“Wha--” Alicia cuts Clarke off with a brazen kiss. She feels Clarke smile against her lips and Alicia can’t help but do the same._

_“Goodnight,” Alicia says, quickly pulling away again, except this time out of need for oxygen rather than out of fear. She winks at Clarke before walking away._

_“Goodnight,” Clarke responds breathlessly as Alicia leaves her there - heart abloom and spirit awaken._

 

* * *

It’s late at night when Clarke wakes up in a cold sweat, her t-shirt soaked through and her palms sweaty. She can’t remember what she was dreaming about but trepidation is still with her as she stretches and walks outside her tent. She brushes her hair out of her face and sighs deeply when she looks over at the trunk she and Alicia were sitting on— _kissing_ on – earlier that night. Clarke can’t help but color at the thought of Alicia’s timid touch and eager lips. But she pulled away.  

To clear her thoughts, Clarke decides to try reaching the Ark again. She walks around to the dropship and goes straight to the control room and sits down at a desk covered in buttons and switches, some different colors than others. Clarke tiredly leans her head against one hand and grabs the radio with the other.

“Come in, come in. Anybody there?” Clarke calls into the speaker but she gets no reply. “Come in, Ark Station. It’s Clarke.” Nothing. “Answer me!” She bangs her fists against the control panel and lets out a frustrated groan. “Dammit.”

Clarke knows she’s taking her frustration about what happened earlier out on the control board but what’s the harm in it if no one is going to answer her anyway. She really should try and go back to sleep but her thoughts are keeping her awake. Some fresh air might help so Clarke settles herself against a tree a couple yards outside the dropship.

Clarke’s dozing off, her head resting against the rough bark behind her, when the faint but rapidly growing sound of metal slicing through the atmosphere jolts her awake with a start.

Clarke jerks her head to the sky in time to see a giant spacecraft plummeting to the ground that resembles something akin to the Ark Station itself. Two pieces break off its sides, one moving at an impossibly fast rate, causing it to catch ablaze and explode as it hits the ground. The other sails smoothly through the sky, on the same course as the rest of the Ark. 

“What the hell?” Clarke says to herself, scrambling to her feet and brushing the dirt off her legs. Her heart is pounding furiously as she thinks of her mom and all the rest of the citizens onboard the Ark. _Somethings wrong._

Clarke runs over to Bellamy’s tent, waking him as quickly as possible. “Bellamy! Get up! Quick!” She says as she kicks the bottom of his foot which is peaking out the opening of the tent like a groundhog in February.

He rouses reluctantly. “What is it, Clarke?” Bellamy stretches tiredly but before he can do more, Clarke grabs is arm, pulls him from underneath the tree canopy and in view of clear sky.

“There!” She points just as the last remnants of what definitely is the Ark fall over the horizon like a shooting star. He looks at her incredulously. “We need to go.” She chokes, trying poorly not to sound worried. “There’s no reason for the entire Ark to reach the ground. What happened to the rest of the dropships? They should have still had more air left for a proper plan. My mom…” Clarke stops herself to steady her breathing.

“She’s okay, Clarke. Everyone is going to be okay. We can set out right now. Maybe we’ll even come across the second dropship that came down with us in the process.” Bellamy soothes her. He then runs back into his tent to put on proper clothes for the journey and grab a few necessary supplies.

Later, when a large group has set out toward the fallen Ark, leaving the camp they’ve been calling home behind in the blink of an eye, Clarke wonders if maybe this is for the best. She should leave. She doesn’t want to mess up Alicia’s life. Even if she doesn’t see it, Alicia’s got it good. She has a home and a family—a kind of stability Clarke hasn’t known in quite some time. Clarke’s practically homeless, sleeping in a tent and scrounging for food. What could she possibly offer Alicia?

“What are you thinking about?” Wells asks as he walks up beside her.

“Nothing,” Clarke answers, shaking her head in frustration.

“We’ll travel as far as possible until nightfall and then rest. Two people should take watch,” Bellamy yells from the front of the party.

“Who left him in charge?” Wells teases with a smile, trying to cheer Clarke up but she doesn’t react.

Octavia, who’s trailing next to them, can’t help by overhear the awkward lack of exchange. “Hey,” she says nudging Clarke’s shoulder. Clarke looks at her with sad eyes. “Is this about Alicia?” she asks low enough so that Wells doesn’t hear.

“What?”

“You two are always hanging out together and yesterday at camp --?” Clarke grabs Octavia’s arm, cutting her off and drawing her away from the others. “Look I don’t care about that. I’m just trying to help.” Octavia continues as she frees herself from Clarke’s grip.

Clarke sighs. “What happened was a moment of weakness. I can’t get involved with her, O. Getting close to anyone, at this point, isn’t a good idea.”

“Isn’t it? Doesn’t it make sense to make as many connections as possible since the world is full of death and no one knows how things could end? Wouldn’t you want to make the most of life?” Octavia suggests wisely and Clarke raises her brow in surprise. “What? I may be young but I’m not stupid.”

Clarke chuckles at that and nods. But then she remembers Alicia pulling away from the kiss and her expression darkens. “I don’t think she likes me.”

“Clarke don’t be an idiot. Whatever happened, I’m sure she was just surprised. Give her time to realize what’s so obviously already between you two.” At that, Octavia trots ahead, leaving Clarke behind to digest her words.

Clarke walks by herself, looking toward the morning sky at the blue and red birds singing in the trees. They’re free in every way; no virus, no worries, nothing holding them down. If only life were that simple.

Instead, she’s following a trial of smoke the Ark left in its wake. Clarke and about twenty others are walking through an unchartered, walker-infested desert to reach an unknown destination where the only thing they may find is a gravesite. They’re running on solid luck but Clarke can’t help but feel like she has to ensure everyone gets back safely, regardless of the stakes, if not for their sakes, then for her own _. No more deaths_ , Clarke decides.

If only the universe was listening. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven and Alicia talk. Clarke, Bellamy and the others run into some trouble on their way to the Ark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been done, sorry!

Raven stays behind, feeling like a coward, while her friends courageously navigate the open desert in search of their fallen brethren. She tells them it’s in order to keep watch over camp and finish up some projects that can better help fend off stray biters. She tells herself that everyone onboard the Ark probably died on impact and if not, the biters will get to them before the group does. But both are terrible reasons to stay and not the truth.

Raven wills herself to forget about the man onboard the Ark, who’s now in need of her help, who taught her about mechanical engineering, love for electronics, and the satisfaction of fixing things –the only things bringing a smile to her lips these days. Sinclair. He’s the closest thing she’s got to family now that Finn is gone (he was all she had) and he could be out there fighting for his life. Meanwhile, Raven is safe at camp, hundreds of miles away.

She hates herself for it. She’s never been one to shy away from an adventure. Hell, she’s usually the one proposing the adventures. But she hasn’t been herself lately and the more time that passes, the further away she gets from finding the old Raven.

Neither the reason she gave Clarke and Bellamy for staying behind nor the reasons she tells herself are the real truth. The true reason she forewent making the multi-day trek to wherever the hell the Ark landed is the fear of seeing more people she loves hurt, or worse dead by the bite of an infected.

Not only do the gruesome creatures haunt her dreams at night but so does Finn’s face as one of them. Every night she sees the glossy look in his eyes and the drool dripping from his lips. And every time, Clarke is standing next to him, looking just as terrified as Raven, except in her dream, it’s Raven’s hands that are covered in Finn’s blood, Raven who is holding the knife, not Clarke. And in the mornings, after she’s scrubbed herself clean, she still feels dirty, still feels the blood on her hands. And if she feels this way without having done anything, she knows Clarke must feel the same, if not worse, but somehow she can’t seem to forgive her, no matter how hard she tries or how badly she wants to. She also can’t forgive herself for just standing there and not helping.

Raven looks down at her hands like she does every day and sees the familiar dirt and grime that comes with working with machines all day. She roughly rubs it off on her jeans and wipes the sweat off her brow with the back of her hand. The sun is up and shining brightly, illuminating her new home, but somehow it looks artificial, like it isn’t really real or where she’s supposed to be. And in truth, it’s not, but it is all she and the others have. It’s her home, for now, at least.

This is not at all what she pictured the ground would be like. It’s so barren, dry and bleak. Why did they have to come down here if they’re all just going to die anyway?

Raven shakes the unproductive thoughts from her head and makes her way toward the dropship. She has much to do today. She and the few others who decided to stay behind need to categorize the goods they found on the supply run yesterday and restock the preserves. It isn’t a pressing issue but there’s nothing better to do and Raven rather keep busy and stay helpful.

She’s rummaging through the dozens of bags piled up in the back of the dropship when she hears the front gate swing open and closed. Walkers aren’t considerate enough to close the gate behind themselves so she pays it little mind. It’s probably just someone who stayed behind.  

After a few minutes, Raven hears a voice call out, one she recognizes. “Hello? Anybody here?” Maybe if she stays out of sight, the girl will go away.

“Clarke? Monty? Anyone?” Alicia calls as she checks out the camp, nearly unfamiliar without the bustle of people usually filling the space. The camp is empty and it looks like everyone just picked up and left. No one is sitting around the camp logs playing cards, wrestling behind the tents, sleeping inside them, or waiting in line for the latrine. They couldn’t have gone on a supply run since they just went yesterday. It is a particularly hot day so Alicia reasons that maybe they’ve taken cover under the shade of the dropship.

Alicia’s never actually been inside before so she’s curious all the same. She walks up the ramp cautiously and sticks her head into the dim lit, cool compound. It’s larger inside than she expected. They’ve cleared out the seats to use as cushions so it’s very open despite the dark interior. There are a few people hanging around a set up stairs leading to the upper level and some toward the back, including Raven, rummaging through bags of supplies. She recognizes a few more places, but none of them is Clarke. And she’s the one she’s here to see.

“Hey…” Alicia starts, walking up behind Raven. Raven doesn’t turn around. Alicia hasn’t really talked to her since the incident at the grocery store a few weeks ago and things are slightly awkward between them to say the least. So Alicia says the first thing that comes to mind to break the ice. “You have a few stragglers out front,” Alicia tells her with a nod toward the gate, as if that’s all she wants.  

Raven’s slow to answer. “Yea, alright. I’ll turn the fence on…thanks,” Raven responds, referring to the electric current she wired through the fence around the camp to keep out infecteds.

“So where is everyone?” Alicia asks, looking around the dropship as if the missing people are going to come out of the walls.

 “Probably in the middle of the desert by now. They left.” Raven says bored.

“Wait…what?” Alicia exclaims, confused. The desert? Why? And why hadn’t Clarke said anything yesterday. She wouldn’t just leave without saying goodbye, would she? But apparently she did.

“They left a few hours ago, headed for the Ark.”

“The Ark?”

Raven huffs, realizing she’s going to need to do more explaining if she wants Alicia to leave her in peace. “Yes, the Ark. The entire Ark Station fell from space last night and a group of us went in search of it. It fell somewhere over that way,” Raven points to the left without looking at Alicia. She still has her back turned toward the girl and is pretending to be really into sorting canned food from bandages and spare clothes.

Alicia can tell she’s trying to avoid talking to her as much as possible and it annoys her. She’s sure all the animosity is probably from what happened at the bodega. “Listen, about what happened that night at the store--” Alicia begins, trying to get to the heart of the problem so they can move past it.

Raven stills. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she says quickly.

“Okay, I get that. But you need to hear this,” Alicia presses, walking closer to her so the others hanging around the stairs won’t overhear their conversation. “Your boyfriend, Finn, he was dead when Clarke drove that knife through his head. And he would have killed us if she didn’t.”

“Shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Raven all but yells.

“Yes I do!” Alicia corrects her, losing her temper and patience. “I lost someone special to me too. His name was Matt and he was bitten shortly after the virus hit. When he got sick, I didn’t want to believe it. I couldn’t…” Alicia pauses to collect herself and Raven finally turns and looks at her. She can see the pain and sincerely in Alicia’s eyes and her expression softens. “It’s not Clarke’s fault. It’s no one’s fault. She saved your life. Remember that,” Alicia finishes before turning to leave. There’s nothing for him here.

“Wait,” Raven says grudgingly. She rolls her eyes and heaves a deep sigh. “I know Clarke’s your friend and you care about her so I think you should know that the journey she left on with the others, is long, dangerous, and probably futile. If everyone makes it back in one piece, it’ll be a miracle.” Worry lines emerge above Raven brow, saying it out loud has made it real, and it’s the first time Alicia realizes Raven actually cares about the Arkers. She’s not just the tough loner she makes herself out to be.

Alicia matches Raven’s worried expression but suppresses her protests. It’s not her place to question their choices. “How long will they be gone?”

“Who knows. Couple days? Couple weeks? It depends on the trajectory of the Ark and the condition of the terrain. They’re walking.”

“Walking!” Alicia’s heart stops at that. “There are walkers out there! Hundreds! No one crosses the desert on foot. No one.”

Raven pauses. She briefly considers signaling on the emergency frequency but they’d likely contact her first if anything went wrong and so far all she’s heard is radio silence, music to her ears.  “They’re smart enough to avoid hoards and trek quietly,” Raven tells herself more than Alicia but it’s little comfort for them both. _They better not get themselves killed._

Alicia wants to say more. To tell Raven to call them back. But she’s being selfish if she does so she nods instead and prepares to leave. She has the urge to run again, but this time, it’s to run toward Clarke.

“Alicia,” Raven calls to her before she’s made it down the ramp. Alicia doesn’t turn around—doesn’t need to because she knows Raven understands what’s going through her head. “Don’t try and go after them. I know you didn’t get to say goodbye to her, but she’ll be back. Remember _that_.” Raven says, throwing Alicia’s own words back at her but the comfort it brings is as hallow as it sounds.  

* * *

Later that day, after the sun begins to set, the chickens are feed, the crops are watered, and the other daily chores around the farm are completed, Nick finds Alicia resting on the couch in the living room, an arm behind her head, feet crossed, and her eyes staring pointedly at the bare ceiling above her. The room is dark, save for a few lit candles on the coffee table next to her. The window on the far side of the room is open, providing a gentle breeze that makes the candle flames dance from side to side now and again.

“Hey where did you sneak off to this morning? You left me with half of the chores! I had to muck out the chicken coop alone and you know I hate that shit.

No response.

“You went to see Clarke didn’t you.”

That peaks her interests because Nick can see her begin to shift uncomfortably on the couch. That would be a yes. Nick approaches the couch and lifts Alicia’s legs so he can join her. He lets her feet rests on his lap while he puts his feet up on the table in front of him, careful not to knock over a candle. She still doesn’t answer him. Just continues to stare at the cracks and chipping pain on the old ceiling. Nick sighs, knowing it must be something serious.

“Alicia, I can tell something’s wrong. I’m your big brother and you do that same blank stare you’re doing now whenever something’s wrong. So what is it?” He asks. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” Nick coaches a bit more gently this time.

“We kissed and then she left,” Alicia blurts into the silence and it bounces off the walls in the living room like ping pong ball. “She kissed me, I kissed her back and now she’s gone.” The thought tugs uncontrollably at her lips and she forces a laugh to suppress the sob at the back of her throat.

 _Kissed? She?_ Okay so Nick wasn’t expecting that and at first he looks at her like a deer in headlights but when her words sink in he hits eureka.  

“Clarke left? For where?” he asks cautiously.

“To find her mom,” Alicia answers. “Her and a bunch of others.”

“Her mom? Okay, I’m lost,” Nick says, throwing his hands up.

“Apparently, the Ark Station fell from space last night and a group of people, including Clarke went in search of it to see if there are any survivors,” Alicia clarifies.

Nick nods, slowing beginning to understand. “And you think she left because you kissed her? Alicia that’s ridiculous.”

“No, I think she left without saying goodbye because she kissed me and I ran away afterwards.”

“You ran? I thought you kissed her back…” Alicia groans in frustration and covers her face with her hands. Nick’s only making it worse. “She’ll come back,” he offers genuinely. “And she didn’t leave because you ran. She left because she _had_ to. I’m sure she just didn’t have time to say goodbye.”  

But his sister ignores him, replying the events over and over again in her head. _I kissed her, I ran, and now she’s gone._

Nick’s quiet for a moment, trying to find the right words to say. “You wish you hadn’t run away. You wish she was here for you to tell her that.” They aren’t questions, just observations. He pats Alicia’s leg affectionately and suppresses a smirk. Who would have thought he’d be giving his little sister advice about _girls_? “She’ll come back, Leeshy.”

“Don’t call me that,” Alicia warns.

“She will. And then you’ll live happily ever after.”

“Shut up, Nick,” Alicia bites. But his words hit home and her expression darkens. They look at each other, not saying what they’re both thinking: that there’s no happily ever after anymore, there’s only death or worse.

Nick changes the subject. “Why did you run?”

“I don’t know.” But she knows. Alicia knew she liked Clarke since the first time they met, but she’s been suppressing the feeling for so long that when it finally surfaced, it came as a shock.

“Is it because she’s a girl?”

“No!” _Lie_. “Okay, yes…at first.” _Truth_.

“What do you like about her?” Nick asks curiously.

Alicia doesn’t even hesitate. “She’s smart, funny, beautiful, and kind. I like spending time with her and I feel like I can tell her anything. She puts everyone’s needs above her own—she’s selfless and so caring. And she’s strong. She has what it takes to survive in this world and she’s adapted twice as fast as I did. I think it’s what she does best. Adapt.” Alicia looks at her brother, sincerity in her eyes clear as day. Nick gives her the most obvious look.

“You’re crushing on her… _hard_.” He says with a small laugh. It’s endearing and if he’s honest, he’s a little jealous.  

Alicia does what she does best and rolls her eyes. “Well, what if she doesn’t like me in the same way?”  

“She clearly likes you.”

“How can you tell?” Alicia asks timidly.

“Oh come on. Do you see the way she looks at you? Plus, she did _kiss_ you, or did you forget? You’re so daft.” He replies, shaking his head.  

“Shut up,” Alicia says and swats his shoulder.

“How is it you got into Stanford?” Nick laughs at his joke and Alicia stares him down coldly, but there’s a wisp of a smile on her lips. She’s missed their little talks, the banter, the insults. Everything has been so tense lately that it feels good to just catch up on each other’s lives for a change.

“And what about you and Raven?” Alicia asks with a wink.

“What? Which one is Raven?” Nick feigns innocence.

“You know who I’m talking about. _That_ Raven!” Alicia says, pointing to Nick’s smile. “I spoke with her today, you know. She’s still at camp. She didn’t go with them.”

Nick lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. It’s a relief to know she’s safe. “What did she say about me?” 

“Absolutely nothing,” Alicia laughs earnestly for the first time today. “Step up your game.”

“That’s what everyone’s been saying,” Nick grumbles.

 “Just saying. I never would have guessed we would be talking about girls together,” she remarks.

“Never,” Nick answers. “But it’s nice.”

“I guess this makes us bros now.”

They share a laugh and for the time being, forget the world is decaying around them.

* * *

 The group follows the trial of smoke the Ark left in its wake on foot in order to stay true to the path and avoid the roads. The vehicles wouldn’t fare well traversing the ridged, uneven ground they expect to cross and even then, they’re likely to run out of gas in the middle of the desert. Clarke wants to get there as soon as possible in case anyone is hurt and in need of immediate medical attention so she sets a fast pace.

Most of the bags are packed full of water and medical supplies like bandages and antiseptic. Raven commandeered a dozen radios on the supply run the day before and distributed them amongst a handful of people to signal for help in case anyone should get separated. It’s not much but it’ll do.

The first few hours are the hardest. The dirt is hot beneath their feet, the sun relentlessly beating down their backs and burning their skin, the wind nonexistent, and the trail of smoke used as a guide, never ending.

‘Why are we doing this again?” Monty asks no one in particular.

Octavia looks over her shoulder at him but doesn’t say anything; just ties her hair into a bun to get it out of her face and off her sweaty neck.

“And why didn’t we drive?” Jasper adds while shuffling his feet and kicking up dirt for emphasis. Monty shoves his shoulder when some of the dirt flies up and into his face.

“They already told us,” Charlotte, the youngest, replies authoritatively, rolling her green eyes for emphasis. She shuffles the bag she’s carrying to the other shoulder and stomps ahead.  

“Well I’m going to need to hear it again,” another boy chimes in after Charlotte is out of earshot. He and Jasper laugh.

“Hey! If you have a problem, turn back,” Bellamy says curtly, slowing his pace to fall back toward the grumbling bunch.

Jasper holds up his hands in defeat, Monty suppresses a smirk, and Octavia raises her brow in amusement. Monty looks ahead and notices the unmarked path their creating leads to some dense underbrush, trees, and cacti on one side and a small pitched gully on the other surrounded by yellow wildflowers. A stream, as rare as it sounds, must be nearby, fueling the little bit of greenery they see. It’s the perfect location for a water and bathroom break.

“Can we at least take a break?” Monty asks. “Looks like there’s a good spot up ahead.” He points to the patch of greenery.  

Bellamy contemplates it for a moment, looking ahead to Clarke who’s eager in her steps and easily out-walking everyone else. She’s determined but she’s the only one in such a rush. At the pace she’s going, she’ll burn out before they reach the Ark. A little break won’t hurt anyone. “That’s a good idea,” he answers.

They separate into groups, some escaping the sun for the cover of desert trees and others venturing off in search of privacy to relieve themselves. 

Clarke stretches her legs and back, hearing the familiar “pop” of her bones cracking and delighting in the stretch of her muscles. Bellamy steps to her side and pulls out a snack from his back pocket—beef jerky. He offers a piece to Clarke but she turns it down, opting instead for the luke warm water in her canteen.

It’s hot outside and they’ve been out there for hours now with the crash site still out of sight. Who knows how long it will take to get there and the prospect of traversing through the dry deserted desert for days leaves her less than eager. A part of her knows the journey is a foolish one and just because they haven’t seen any infected yet, doesn’t mean they won’t. It’s only a matter of time.

Clarke looks out at the sparse greenery around her and the green of the plants morphs into the green of Alicia’s eyes and Clarke’s instantly hurled back to the last time she saw Alicia. She’s looking into those emerald eyes again and she can see something there, just below the surface, and it isn’t fear like Clarke originally thought. It’s something else, something calming and familiar but Clarke can’t place a finger on it. Maybe she will in time.

Bellamy clears his throat, grabbing Clarke’s attention. “We should keep moving if we want to make as much progress as possible before nightfall.” Clarke looks at him and nods her head in agreement. She quickly begins gathering her things. “I don’t know about you, but the prospect of sleeping in the open tonight is pretty daunting,” Bellamy continues.

“I agree,” Clarke replies. “Maybe we can find a little town in the hills, or at least road that could lead us to one before it gets dark.”

“I’ll tell the others,” Bellamy says as he turns to leave. But something in Clarke’s eyes unsettles him and he stops after a few paces and turns to look at her. “We’ll find them Clarke. They’re alive. I can feel it.” It’s meant to sooth away the worry lines on her face but he’s mistake the sullenness for worry or fear rather than apprehension about her and Alicia. She doesn’t correct him though, just nods so he’ll leave. And he does.

Clarke exhales and turns her head to the night sky. The one thing about Earth that’s the same in space is the sky. It gives her the small comfort she desperately needs in that moment. The moon glows against its black blanket speckled with bright white stars. She knows Alicia is looking at the same picture she is and so is her mom and the others. It shrinks the world to a mere pinpoint to know that they are miniscule compared to the infinite space above them and helps alleviate the formidable task of locating her mom and the simultaneous need to be close to Alicia. Her only wish is that she could have both at once.  

 

Later in the day, when they’ve walked as far as their feet can carry them, the burning trail of smoke barely present in the sky, the group decides to call it a night. If they don’t reach where they’re going by the morning, they may never get there. But Clarke can feel it in her bones that they are close.

Clarke rolls out her sleeping bag next to Bellamy’s and climbs in, ready for a new day to come. She’s been quiet throughout the trip and a few people have noticed, Bellamy amongst them. They aren’t close enough for him to push her on it, but by now he can tell this trip is about more than just finding her mom. She’s running away from something and he knows the feeling.  

Bellamy climbs in his own sleeping bag, barely able to fit all the way in without his shoulders poking out. Hushed whispers begin to lull him to sleep when a soft hand shakes him awake. He blinks a few times, letting his eyes adjust to the dark. At first he thinks it’s Octavia by the young features on the girl’s face but when his vision sharpens he sees it’s not. It’s Charlotte.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks the young girl who looks even younger at night under the soft moonlight. She reminds him a lot of Octavia when she was her age just a few years ago– a troubled loner with something to prove.

“I’m afraid,” she confesses, her head tilted toward the ground in shame.

“Of what?”

“The infected…killing me in my sleep. I can’t close my eyes without seeing them or thinking about them.”

Bellamy softens his expression and takes her hand. “You’re safe here, Charlotte,” he says candidly.  

“You can’t know that.”

Bellamy sits up slowly, thinking of a way to convince her that her fear, although rational, can’t keep her from living her life. His hand runs along the length of his leg until he feels the cold hilt of his knife, tucked safely into his pants pocket. He pulls it out swiftly and hands it to Charlotte. She needs it more than him.

“Take this,” he says. “And when you feel afraid, hold it out into the dark and say ‘screw you!’ Say it until you don’t feel afraid anymore. It’s what I used to do,” Bellamy tells her, nodding in encouragement. “Show me.”

Charlotte grips the knife tightly, and says ‘screw you!’ to the darkness, to her fear, to everything that is now the ground. She smiles weakly at Bellamy as he nods. He pats her on the shoulder and tells her to go to back to bed, but if she needs him, he’ll be here. She walks away reluctantly, looking back at him with each step before finally turning around, disappearing into the dark and slipping in her sleeping bag.

Clarke, who’s been secretly listening to the exchange, can’t help the smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. It is possibly the first one of the day, although the sun has long since retired and only the moon is awake to witness it. Bellamy looks over at her, returning the smile, before turning over and trying to drift to sleep. Clarke doesn’t hesitate to do the same.

 

Screaming. That’s what wakes them in the early hours of the morning. Screaming followed by gunshots. Clarke and Bellamy bolt awake, both startled and confused. Bellamy makes for his knife but then realizes he’s given it to Charlotte. Instinctively, he looks toward her sleeping bag and the worry sets in. It’s empty. Clarke follows his gaze and panic sets in.

“They couldn’t have gotten far! Follow the screams and gunshots!” Clarke orders. She told herself, no more dying, but she fears that might have been wishful thinking.

Bellamy and Clarke run toward the commotion, only to find Charlotte and Wells in a struggle and a dead walker a few feet away, the gun laying close by him. Bellamy lunges for it but isn’t sure who to aim it at.

“Stop it! Charlotte let go of him!” Clarke bellows. But Charlotte isn’t listening so Clarke takes in the scene again. The girl’s limbs look sluggish, she’s making a low growling sound, reaching for Well’s neck hungrily and stumbling erratically. “She’s infected!”

“Shoot her Bellamy!” Wells commands fearfully. He struggles to hold her back despite her size and she’s quickly gaining the upper hand. She is stronger than she looks.

Bellamy hesitantly aims the gun at Charlotte. He knows what he should do, but he pauses, sweaty palms slipping over the barrel of the gun, his finger unable to pull the trigger. All he sees is her golden red hair, her tiny frame, and the hilt of the knife her gave her sticking out the back pocket of her jeans. She looks so young, so innocent. When he sees her, he sees his sister and suddenly, he can’t do it. He lowers the gun, cursing himself.

But unlike Bellamy, Clarke doesn’t think when she snatches the gun from his hands, aims at the back of Charlotte’s head and swiftly pulls the trigger. The loud crack reverberates through her soul as it pierces the girl’s brain, causing Charlotte to slump over, hit the ground, and abruptly still.

“Thank you!” Wells exclaims, still in shock. He runs over to his best friend and takes the gun from her shaking hands. “You saved my life, Clarke,” he says.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t do it. She was just a kid,” Bellamy tries to explain when Wells shoots him a churlish look.

“She was already dead,” Clarke mumbles, more to herself than to Bellamy. “She was already gone.”

“What happened?” Bellamy asks Wells.

“I don’t really know. I heard her screaming and got up and ran over to find this dude on top of her. He must have wondered this way in the middle of the night. I shot him once in the back and then again in the head but it was too late. He’d already bitten her,” Wells tells them. “Then she came for me.”  

Bellamy nods in understanding looking Wells over for bites or injuries. At first he appears fine, escaping the situation without harm. But after a closer look, Bellamy realizes he wasn’t so lucky. There’s blood seeping from Wells’s right shoulder and the source is a circle of tiny indented pockets. A bite.

“Your shoulder…” Bellamy points to the injury. Wells looks down slowly, because seeing it wills it into existence and that’s the last thing he wants. But he looks, how could he not, and is too afraid to answer. “Wells how did you hurt your shoulder?” Bellamy asks again, although he knows the answer, he just doesn’t want to hear it.

Wells looks to Clarke then, almost as if to take in her face for the last time. “I’m sorry” he says before he abruptly starting to _change_. His eyes glaze over, pupils dialing and turning them pitch black. His mouth begins to drool and he barres his teeth at them, his shoulders slump forward, the veins in his face darken and rise to the surface as the blood curdles inside them, and finally, he lets out a low, long groan, ending in a strangled rough growl. He looks at the gun in his hands confused before turning his head toward Clarke and Bellamy, sniffing the air, and _smiling_ wickedly.

Clarke and Bellamy stare on in utter shock, neither one of them able to move when what used to be Wells charges at them hungrily. And then a second later, he’s inches from Clarke’s face and she can feel death on his breath as it passes over her pale, motionless face. She looks into his bottomless eyes, unrecognizable now, and sees her fate in them. She can’t move, can’t do anything but long for this demon to return her best friend to her unharmed. Now she knows how Raven felt – like this is all just a bad dream, like the kind Charlotte had that left her shaking and covered in sweat in the morning, and if she wills herself hard enough, she’ll wake up.

But the loud smack of a rock colliding with Wells’s head and the subsequent spray of blood across Clarke’s face is definitely no dream.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunion!

Bellamy shuffles around the camp, waking the others as he goes. It’s only been an hour or so since the incident with Wells and Charlotte but already the sun is peaking its head over the horizon. He knows in his heart that he did what was right but the shock of it has yet to wear off. He stops at the two empty sleeping bags and frowns. He swallows down the pain and guilt in order to have the strength to keep moving. Half of the group is still asleep and they need to keep a decent pace of they’re going to reach the Ark before the trail of smoke in the sky leading them dissipates completely.

When Bellamy walks by the last row of sleeping bags he knows something isn’t right. Every single one of them is empty. Jasper, Monty, Harper, Monroe, Miller and Bryan. 6 people missing and not a single walker in sight.

“Clarke we have a problem,” Bellamy urges. He briskly walks up to Clarke while he wipes Wells’ dried blood of his face. He notices that his hands are still shaking from earlier, but now is not the time to feel sorry for himself. They have more pressing issues.

“What?” Clarke asks dully, not even bothering to look up at him. She’s furiously shoving her sleeping bag and water canteen into her backpack, pulling and pushing at the seams to make it close.

“I can’t find some of the people in our group. We need to find them. We might need to signal Raven.” He looks at Clarke and her hardened expression and sad eyes. She’s shutting down, if she hasn’t already.

 “They’re probably just screwing around somewhere; letting off steam or finding a bush to pee behind. They’re fine.”

“I’ve looked,” Bellamy insists.

Clarke rolls her eyes and clenches her jaw. They don’t have time for this. They need to leave. She needs to get out of this desert and find her mom. “Who’s gone?” Clarke asks. She looks at Bellamy and his worried, shaken expression doesn’t help the matter.

“Monty, Jasper, Harper, too many, Clarke!”

She sighs exasperatedly. “We need to get to the Ark! We don’t have time this for this! If they aren’t here within the next few minutes, we’re leaving them and they can find their own way home,” Clarke says harshly.

“Clarke--” Bellamy begins, reaching out to calm Clarke down because he can tell she is about to break.

“Bellamy, don’t!” she yells! Tears are in her eyes now and it’s only a matter of moments. “Don’t touch me! You don’t get to touch me! Not after what you did…not after…”

But he wraps his arms around her anyway and holds on tightly. She tries to fight him off but after a few moments, Bellamy feels her body relax into his and then sobs escape.

“I’m so sorry, Clarke. I know he was your best friend.” Bellamy tells her quietly, rubbing circles on her back with his hands. “I didn’t have a choice. He was going to kill you.”

“I know,” Clarke sobs. “I know.” They have only been on the ground for a couple of weeks and already she has lost good friends. Now more are missing. Who else will she lose? Clarke’s mind instinctively flashes to Alicia, those bright green eyes, soft cheeks, plump lips, and she can’t help the sudden tightness in her chest at the thought of losing her too.

Clarke slowly pulls away from Bellamy, voicing thanks, and then pushes down the pain of losing Wells in order to focus on the task at hand – finding the missing. They can’t have gotten far considering they are in the middle of a barren, open dessert with no place to hide.

“Jasper! Monty!” Clarke calls, trekking around the camp.

“Jasper! Harper!” Bellamy follows suit and the rest of the people left soon join in, praying the calls don’t attract infecteds.

After several minutes of this, will not response from anyone, they decide to give up, the panic evident on everyone’s face. Clarke can tell they want to go home, Bell was right. They need to call Raven. To her credit, the grumpy Latina picks up right away as she hears the distress call.

“What’s up?” Raven tires to radio nonchalantly but Clarke can hear the worry lacing her voice.

“6 of us went missing sometime between late last night and early this morning. There are no walkers nearby, no bodies, nothing is missing, and there’s no note. Something’s wrong,” Clarke says and releases the button on the radio so Raven can respond.

“That’s not like them,” Raven says.

“I agree.”

“You need to come back to camp. They might have been taken and you all could be next.”

“Taken by who?”

“I don’t know but I wouldn’t wait around and find out. Get your asses back here. I’ll see what I can do from here in the meantime.”

“We should be looking for them, not running home with our tails between our legs,” Bellamy calls in.

“Do what you want but you called _me_ , remember? And I’m telling you that the best thing to do right now is to come back. We can send a search party with enough ammo to kill every walker from here to the next town over.”

Clarke thinks it over, looking at Bellamy who seems to be persuaded. She isn’t ready to turn back just yet but the wellbeing of the group comes first so she reluctantly agrees. Bellamy graciously pants her on the back while they gather their things. “We’re doing the right thing,” he tells her. “We’ll see you by nightfall,” Bellamy tells Raven over the radio.

“What about the others?” Clarke asks. “What about my mom?”

“We’ll come back for everyone. This time we’ll have more supplies and we can take the Rover so we can cover more ground. It’ll be rough but we can pack extra gas. We can save everyone, Clarke.”

Clarke takes in his words, wanting to believe him but knowing she can’t. _You can’t save everyone._

“Come on,” Bellamy says softly, pulling on Clarke’s arm a bit for emphasis. She looks out into the desert, letting the worry bubble up in her chest for a moment, allowing herself to feel, before she promptly thrusts it back down and turns to join the others. She decides she needs to see Alicia. Alicia may have the answers she’s seeking and may know how to help. She just hopes she’s willing to, considering the way they left things. If anything, Clarke knows she can count on the girl to help her find her friends, even if whatever is between them goes no further than that one drunken kiss.

_Later…_

They reach the camp by nightfall. An entire day of traveling with Clarke taking the lead, setting a fast pace and allowing only one break. The soft glowing of electricity peaks over the hill as they approach. The wire fence is a welcoming sight to all but Clarke. The remainder of the group picks up their pace, eager to be home. Clarke and Bellamy linger behind, he knowing she has something on her mind.

“I can’t go back just yet,” Clarke says, slowing to halt just outside the gate.

Bellamy stops as well and looks at the camp. “Where are you going?” he asks.

“To get answers,” Clarke replies.

Bellamy looks at her then, his eyes saying what he cannot. “Be careful,” is all he says. He can’t convince her to stay. He doesn’t know where she’s going but he knows she’ll come back when she’s found what she’s looking for. “Whatever you find, I want to know. I want to find them just as much as you, Clarke. We can’t keep losing people.”

“You’re right, we can’t,” she says after a while.

Bellamy hugs her tight and kisses her cheek. She gives him a small smile to hold onto until she returns and then takes off back down the road they came and heads in the direction of a farm she hopes she can find.

* * *

_[Listen to: Blackbear, Weak When Ur Around (Acoustic Version)]_

Alicia’s been thinking about Clarke all day, which shouldn’t be a surprise considering she’s been thinking about her every day since they met. Sometimes it’s her smile, other times it’s her eyes. But always, it’s the kiss. It just felt _right_ and Alicia can honestly say she’s never felt that way about a kiss before. She’s never felt this way about _anyone_ before. It isn’t a teenage crush. It’s deeper than that and as frightening as it may be, it’s also exciting, intriguing and Alicia wants more than anything to explore it further.

She’s been sitting atop the barn roof for the past few hours, looking at the stars, and wondering how something so vast and unknown could create someone so perfect as Clarke – down to the minute details like the mole above her lip.

Alicia blushes just thinking about it even though there isn’t anyone there to see. She ducks her head and smiles at the thought. She doesn’t know why, and as foolish as it sounds, but everything she’s tried so hard to suppress since the outbreak, all the feelings, the hopes, the dreams, come flooding back. She’s weak when Clarke’s around.  

Alicia’s preoccupation with Clarke barely lets her hear the commotion in time. She moves to the edge of the roof to peer around to the front of the house. She’s taken aback at what she finds.

“Stay there!” Chris yells, cocking the gun in the direction of Clarke who has just appeared near the steps of the porch, seemingly manifesting out of thin air. “Not another step!”

“I’m here to see Alicia,” Clarke tells him calmly, unfazed by the gun pointed in her direction.

That’s when Nick runs out the house and stops at the sight of Clarke. There’s blood everywhere --dried, fresh, on her face, her hands, her clothes. She looks pale, there are dark circles under her eyes, her hair is stringy and the smell of death floats off her in waves. If she isn’t a walker yet she will be.

“Clarke?” Nick nearly gasps but doesn’t move closer or tell Chris to back down. He’s afraid of her and it’s funny because Clarke knows she must look like hell. But that doesn’t stop her from asking after Alicia.

“I need to see Alicia,” she says again, voice sounding hallow and bitter.

Alicia, climbs down from the roof of the barn as quick as possible after hearing her name slip from Clarke’s lips. She runs as fast as she can and rounds the corner of the house. She stops in front of the blonde, not getting too close. Her breath catches in her throat and her heart squeezes painfully in fear at the sight in front of her. “Are you alright?” She says so quietly only Clarke hears. “Are you bitten?” It’s a strangled half sob of a question.

Clarke shakes her head no. “I ran into some trouble on the way here. Took me a few hours to find this place but it’s the only farm in the village that isn’t abandoned. I could tell by the garden,” Clarke points to the row of flowers and shrubbery lining the porch that Ofelia tends to every Sunday morning. “I had to see you,” Clarke says and it’s so vulnerable sounding that Alicia’s resolve to keep her distance breaks and she charges toward her.

Alicia wraps her arms around Clarke’s neck and pulls her close. She doesn’t care that Clarke could be lying about being bitten or that she smells like death, or that blood is getting on her clothes and face when she presses in closer. All Alicia cares about is the feeling she gets when Clarke’s strong arms wrap around her waist and give her a warm squeeze. She’s been waiting for it for days.

“I was so worried,” Alicia confesses and she slowly pulls away to look into Clarke’s eyes. She searches them for answers she hopes Clarke can provide her, with time.

“I had to see you.” Clarke smiles weakly and Alicia nods in understanding.

“Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.” Alicia takes Clarke’s hand and begins leading her up the porch steps when Chris stops them.

“Wait, no! What the fuck? She’s not coming inside! She’s could be infected and it’s only a matter of minutes, _seconds_ , before she changes,” Chris cautions crudely.

“Then I’m going to be with her when that happens,” Alicia snaps. “Besides, it won’t because she isn’t bitten.”

“You’re going to take her word on that?” Chris asks stunned.

“Yes… I am,” Alicia looks at Clarke and knows the girl would never put her in danger.

“Alicia’s right, Chris. We can trust Clarke,” Nick jumps to his sister’s defense and Alicia gives him a nod in thanks.

She ignores the look of disgust Chris gives her when she continues leading Clarke inside the house, pushing past Chris irritably. She squeezes Clarke’s hand every now and again in reassurance and takes her straight to her room and closes the door for some privacy.

“Hi,” Clarke says breathless once they’re alone.

“Hi,” Alicia whispers.

“About the kiss—

“I’m sorry for –

They speak at the same time, both laughing slightly at the awkwardness.

“You first,” Clarke says.

“I shouldn’t have run,” Alicia begins.

“No don’t worry about it…we were drunk… I shouldn’t have kissed you,” Clarke says, looking at the ground to avoid what she assumes will be Alicia’s expression of relief.

“I’m glad you kissed me,” Alicia admits, inadvertently taking a step closer and reaching out her hand.

Clarke takes it instinctively, as if she’s always supposed to be holding it. The feeling of Alicia’s hand in her own warms her and she has no control over the smile that replaces the frown she’s been sporting since she left camp. Clarke looks at Alicia and the girl is beaming. Clarke thinks Alicia feels the connection too.

“I’ve never felt this way before. I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s as if we were meant to find each other,” Alicia confesses.

“I feel the same way,” Clarke answers and the confession makes her horrible day better.

Suddenly Clarke’s aware of the gruesome blood covering her and the godawful smell she must be emitting. She’s also aware of the sheer exhaustion setting in from walking for days on end. She walked all day to get here, to see Alicia, and now that she has, she can finally rest.

“I need a shower,” Clarke says offhand. She and Alicia are standing in the middle of the room, still holding hands and although she doesn’t want to stop, she feels as though she may fall asleep upright.

“Of course. I’ll show you where the bathroom is and lay out some clean clothes.” Alicia wants to ask if Clarke is going to be staying the night but doesn’t want to presume. She wants to know what happened out there in the desert, why Clarke looks so sad, why some of the blood is fresher on her face than others and if anyone of it is hers. She wants to know if Clarke is going to be okay. But she doesn’t ask, doesn’t know if it’s her place to. Instead, Alicia leads the way to the bathroom and waits patiently for Clarke to return to her room.

She sits on the bed, not quite sure what to do, so she settles on fidgeting with her hands and the bracelet she’s wearing. _Clarke’s back!_ Oh how she wanted this--wants to tell her how she feels. But Alicia could sense the darkness looming over Clarke from the moment she laid eyes on her and it’s troubling and worrisome. She fears it’s not the best time to be telling Clarke how she feels. She needs to just be here for her. Be a friend.

When Clarke emerges from the bathroom, freshly clean and dripping water, Alicia’s cheeks flush pink as she remembers the last time she saw her like this. To her credit, Clarke ignores Alicia’s evident embarrassment and calmly walks into the room. She walks up to Alicia, a small smile tugging her lips, and asks if she can borrow clean clothes.

“Oh yea…yea of course. Sorry.” Alicia mutters, stumbling over the words. She runs over to her dresser, pulling out the first thing she can find because there’s a wet and naked Clarke behind her and she really can’t focus on anything else. Alicia turns around to see Clarke has readjusted the towel and quietly hands her a pair of sweatpants and a tank top.

“Thanks,” Clarke says, talking the clothes and turning her back to Alicia so she can change with some modesty. When she lets the towel drop to the floor she hears Alicia’s little gasp and it’s the cutest thing ever.

Alicia swiftly turns around and drops her gaze. She can hear Clarke shuffle on the clothes she gave her and is relieved when she feels Clarke tap on her shoulder, signaling it’s safe to turn back around.

They’re standing face to face now, nothing but air and clothing between them. It feels more intimate than it should. Perhaps it’s the silence around them, the tension between the two of them, or the freedom to do as they please for the rest of the night.  

Alicia doesn’t want to say goodnight. She doesn’t want to close her eyes and wake up to Clarke gone again.

“Come with me,” Alicia tells Clarke, taking her hand and holding it tightly. It brings Clarke some comfort and she willing follows Alicia down the stairs and out the backdoor of the house.

They walk in silence and in almost complete darkness. The only light is the moon and it watches them inquisitively from above. Alicia guides Clarke to a large wooden barn, worn with age but sturdy still. The red barn doors in the front are secured tightly with a latch that Alicia easily unhooks. She then yanks the heavy doors open and ushers Clarke inside.

Clarke thinks the barn looks just like the pictures she saw in the children’s books on the Ark. She eyes it in awe, unaware of Alicia doing the same, except inside of staring at the vaulted ceiling and stacks of hay, she’s looking at Clarke.

“This way,” Alicia says. She climbs up a wooden ladder off to the left of the stables, now empty and full of cobwebs. She steps over the last rail and stands to help Clarke do the same.

The crunch of hay beneath her feet is new to Clarke but she likes the sound. She dips down and runs her hands along the ground, feeling the rough, dry grass between her fingers. She has many things yet to learn and see about Earth. She hopes Alicia will show her.

Clarke follows Alicia over to a large open window and watches as she slides her legs over the rail and looks up at the stars.

“This is my favorite spot on the farm,” Alicia says after Clarke joins her. “It has the best views.” Clarke looks up at the stars and can’t help but feel homesick. She doesn’t say anything, just nods. “You left without saying goodbye,” Alicia says after a while. She’s been wanting to say it for some time now but didn’t want to seem needy.  

“Yes,” is all Clarke has to offer. “I couldn’t risk you coming with me.”

“Why?” Alicia asks confused.

Clarke glances at Alicia’s lips, those beautiful full lips, and lets out a shaky breath. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“I can take care of myself,” Alicia answers sternly and it draws Clarke’s gaze to her eyes. The inexplicable pull she has to Clarke grows in that moment and it’s so strong, Alicia can’t ignore it. When she stares into Clarke’s bright blue eyes and the warmth she finds there, all her fears, hidden just beneath the surface but always there, subside. That’s the real scary part. Clarke has the ability to make everything seem all right again and they’ve only just met. Maybe that’s why she reaches her hand out to her, instead of turning away. Maybe that’s why she leans in close and presses her lips to Clarke’s.

It takes Clarke by surprise for a moment. She spent the last few days reprimanding herself for kissing Alicia and now, it is Alicia who’s kissing _her_. Who would have thought? But when Alicia pinches Clarke’s lips with her own, it takes all she has not to lose control. That’s all she wants really. She wants to rid the feeling of despair at watching her friend die and finding out others are missing. She wants to bury the fear of never seeing her mother again, of losing the last bits of herself to a world that’s barely living. She wants to let Alicia wash away the pain with her soft kisses and nimble fingers. But she can’t use Alicia like that. She likes and respects her too much.  

Alicia can feel the stiffness of Clarke’s limbs and pulls away. “What’s wrong?” she asks timidly, hoping she hasn’t done anything wrong.

“It’s not you,” Clarke says quickly, dispelling Alicia’s fears. “It’s me. I’m just not in the right state of mind. My best friend, Wells…he’s dead. Charlotte is dead, and people are missing.”

“What do you mean missing?” Alicia asks curiously. It sounds innocent enough but Clarke can see a hint of something hidden in Alicia’s eyes. She knows something.

“It’s like they disappeared into thin air…completely vanished,” Clarke answers. She watches Alicia whose eyes have grown wider. “Could it have been a hoard of walkers? Do they take their victims?”

“I don’t think it was walkers, Clarke,” Alicia answers.

Clarke’s mouth goes dry. “Tell me what you know.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a short chapter of fluff for you before things start to get cray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen to She’s so high Cover by Mia Wray!

“It’s called Weather Corp. It’s some kind of paramilitary corporation doing experiments on the few of us left standing in hopes of finding a cure for the virus. Some people say they created it in an attempt to weaponized it for bio warfare but then a test subject escaped, causing the outbreak and hell on Earth. They must be getting test subjects through kidnappings,” Alicia tells her and not once does Clarke blink. She absorbs the information like a sponge, applying what she knows now about Weather Corp. to what happened to her friends. _Of course. It all makes sense now. They need more test subjects and we were sitting ducks._ Clarke thinks to herself.

Alicia and Clarke are still sitting in the barn, feet dangling out the window, hair blowing in the midnight air. They haven’t slept yet and both girls are beyond tired but Clarke presses Alicia still.

“How do you know all of this?” Clarke asks curiously.

“People talk. It’s about all you can do. They also make up old folk tales to keep things interesting and keep up hope.”

“And if it’s not an old wives’ tale? What if there’s truth in what these people are saying?”

“Look, I’ve heard this story a dozen times and yet no one has actually seen anyone from Weather Corp or even found its supposed location! It’s a myth.”  

“This corporation has my friends!” Clarke practically yells in frustration and it causes Alicia to flinch, slightly taken aback. The look on Alicia’s face causes Clarke to instantly regret losing her temper. She knows the stress from yesterday is catching up with her and that Alicia is only trying to help. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

Clarke grabs onto Alicia’s hand and holds it between her own. “Where can I find this Weather Corporation?”

Alicia untangles her hand from Clarke’s grasp and shakes her head. If she knows anything about Clarke by now it’s that once she has set her mind to something, she can’t be easily persuaded to change it. Now is no exception. Alicia doesn’t want Clarke going off on some wild goose chase but that’s probably what will end up happening. “I don’t know. It’s a _myth_. And even if I did know, I wouldn’t tell you. It’s too dangerous and I’m afraid you’ll do something stupid,” Alicia responds stubbornly.

“I would do anything for my people,” Clarke says seriously.

“I know,” Alicia says quietly. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

Clarke sighs heavily, exhaustion laden in her bones. She lays backs against the dusty wooden planks of the barn and closes her eyes for a moment. If Alicia won’t tell her all she needs to know, she will need to find someone who will, and fast. Between needing to find her friends and the survivors of the Ark crash, it feels like everything is tumbling down on her, creating cracks in her resolve, and in the back of her mind, she knows it has only just begun.

Clarke hears Alicia shuffle around before laying down next to her. She peaks one blue eye open and watches as Alicia drapes a blanket over Clarke and herself before tucking the ends into their sides making a nice little burrito. They’re snuggled close and it instantly calms Clarke.

“We could always go back to my room. My bed is actually pretty comfortable,” Alicia offers with a wink but she doesn’t move and neither does Clarke. They both are content just lying here. In fact, Alicia is just as comfortable laying here next to Clarke on the hard floor as she would on a soft bed. She’d be comfortable lying next to Clarke anywhere. It’s the girl who brings the comfort, not the location.

“Next time. I’m too tired to move,” Clarke mumbles sleepily and Alicia finds it cute. She brushes Clarke’s cheek with her thumb and tucks a piece of loose hair behind her ear. She watches as her breathing begins to regulate and slow, signaling the oncoming of a deep sleep.

“You’ll find your friends. Everything’s going to be okay,” Alicia offers.

“You can’t know that,” Clarke mumbles.

“But I do,” Alicia tells her. “Don’t leave me again without saying goodbye,” Alicia whispers before Clarke’s completely out for the night. “Promise me.”

She’s afraid Clarke may have fallen asleep because she doesn’t answer her right away but just as Alicia is about to fall asleep herself, she hears Clarke say, “I promise.”

 

When Alicia wakes in the morning Clarke is gone. Her stomach churns and her eyes water at the thought of Clarke embarking on another dangerous journey without saying goodbye. Clarke is making a habit out of leaving Alicia in the dark and it feels like a betrayal. Alicia scolds herself. She should have known Clarke was lying. She puts her people above Alicia, she said as much the night before. She doesn’t fault her for it, just wishes things could be different.

Alicia stretches, trying to shake off the stiffness from sleeping on a hard, dusty floor all night. She isn’t a barn cat, after all. She brushes off the light layer of dust on her backside and combs her hair with her fingers a bit. As she walks outside into the bright morning light, she spots the last person she thought she would see, Clarke, walking across the lawn carrying a tray of food and a cup of steaming hot coffee. When Clarke locks eyes with Alicia she smiles brightly.

“You’re supposed to still be asleep!” Clarke exclaims, coming to a halt in front of Alicia who’s blushing profusely at the gesture. Clarke is absolutely adorable.

“You made me breakfast,” Alicia states the obvious, beaming, while looking over the food. There are scrambled eggs covered in freshly sliced tomatoes and onion, two pancakes, two slices of cured meat, a handful of potatoes and a freshly brewed cup of coffee. Delicious. “This looks so good. Thank you.”

“Your welcome. You deserve it. Sorry again for losing my temper last night. I’m just really worried about my people.” Clarke says.

Alicia kisses Clarke on the cheek. “I know.” She picks up the cup of coffee and takes a hardy sip, ending it with a satisfied nod. Then she motions for Clarke to follow her, leading them pass the barn and to the back of the house. Behind the house there is a large tree and at the base of the tree is a plaid red and white blanket, slightly sun bleached at the corners. It’s clearly been out her for some time and Clarke gases Alicia sits out her often. Alicia sits down in the middle of the blanket and Clarke follows her with the tray of food.

“This is where I eat breakfast every morning,” Alicia says.

“And you sleep in the barn every night?” Clarke jokes.

Alicia rolls her eyes. “Only when I have company.” She takes a bit of her eggs and moans at their deliciousness.

“I have to make you breakfast more often,” Clarke smirks.

“Keep it up and you might get lucky,” Alicia says with a mischievous laugh and Clarke chokes on the piece of potato she’s chewing.

“Don’t tease,” Clarke scolds.

“What if I’m not,” Alicia says roughly and it sends a flood of heat between Clarke’s legs. Alicia only smiles innocently and shoves a piece of pancake into her mouth. Clarke can’t help but stare like a kid in a candy store.

Alicia swallows the remnants of her pancake and leans in toward Clarke, her breath ghosting the blonde’s lips. She watches Clarke swallow thickly, processing what’s about to happen but she waits for Clarke to make the first move. She wants to be certain this is what Clarke wants and that she hadn’t read the signs wrong. Last night Clarke was hesitant but Alicia needs to feel the comfort kissing Clarke would bring and if the breakfast was any indication, Clarke wouldn’t protest to that.

Alicia doesn’t have to wait long when Clarke dives in, crashing their lips together, taking Alicia by slight surprise and causing her to gasp in delight. Alicia grabs and pulls Clarke closer, asking Clarke for permission to deepen the kiss by licking her bottom lip and Clarke grants her access. They both sigh as their tongue crash together, caressing and dancing around each other in a rhythm only they know. Alicia grabs Clarke’s neck and pulls her down on top of her as she lays down on the blanket. Clarke’s hands instantly find Alicia’s hips and her fingertips graze over the expanse of her curves, causing Alicia to let out a tiny moan. The sound sends shivers up Clarke’s spine.

Alicia basks in the feeling of Clarke on top of her. She’s drunk off the warmth of Clarke’s body heat and Clarke’s soft skin and lips brushing against her own. She never wants this to end and she can only imagine the sheer bliss she would feel if they were to go further.

The pair are so wrapped up in their heated make out session that they don’t even hear the back door of the house creak open and Travis clamor down the steps and onto the lawn.

“Alicia?!” Travis startles. He freezes in his tracks, trying to decipher the sight in front of him. Clarke, who he vaguely remembers meeting a few weeks back, is laying on top of Alicia, _groping_ her and _kissing_ her! “What the hell?”

“Travis!” Alicia rolls out from under Clarke and sits up abruptly. She straights her hair and clothes as best as possible and runs over to Travis who is frozen in shock. “Travis, don’t tell Madison.” He starts to protest but she grabs onto his hand in a last ditch effort to appeal to his emotions. “Please? She’ll only freak out and worry that Clarke has some hidden agenda.”

“And does she?” Travis asks.

“Of course not! God!”

Travis looks Alicia over and then looks over at Clarke with a look that could kill. When Clarke averts her eyes he’s satisfied. He remembers being 19 once too. Stealing kisses and wanting glances with new lovers. It was so long ago but he understands the need for companionship. He couldn’t do any of this without Madison and he shouldn’t, couldn’t, even if he wanted to, deny Alicia the chance at love again. He’s just glad to see she’s moved on, even if it is with this mysterious girl from the sky. He definitely did not see coming.

“Okay,” he replies with a nod. “I just hope you don’t keep your friend a secret from your mother for long.” Travis gives Alicia’s hand a gentle squeeze before he walks past them.

“Well that was fun,” Clarke says once Alicia’s made her way back over to the blanket. She straightens up, collecting the dish with some scraps left over from breakfast on it.

“I’m only mortified,” Alicia responds.

“Yea well, he said he wouldn’t tell right? Besides, wasn’t it worth it?” It’s meant to come off as cocky but the vulnerability in Clarke’s eyes shows her true intentions.

“Of course, Clarke,” Alicia says seriously. She places a warm hand on Clarke’s cheek before admitting her feelings. “I like you.”

“I like you too,” Clarke whispers back. She steals a quick kiss before pulling away and walking toward the house.

Alicia’s stomach drops and she frowns. “Going somewhere?” She knows what Clarke is going to say but she still needs to hear it.

“I really do need to get back to camp,” Clarke says. She’s not thrilled to leave Alicia because being with her has been amazing and everything Clarke needed but reality was slowly crashing back down on them and Clarke had things she needed to take care of, starting with finding her friends.

Clarke enters the house through the backdoor and dumps the dish in the kitchen sink. She washes her hands and splashes some water on her face, willing herself to toughen back up. She has a long road ahead of her. She can practically see the tension in the air between her and Alicia. She knows Alicia wants her to stay, or at least will try and come with her. But this was something Clarke needed to do on her own. Her people are her responsibility, whether she signed up for that job or not, and she couldn’t let them down.

Alicia slides her way between Clarke’s arms which are resting on the kitchen counter. She can hear her brother upstairs arguing with Chris and her mom and Ofelia chatting about something she can’t quite make out. They’re distracted and Travis is tending to the few crops they’re able to grow like he usually does in the mornings so it is just her and Clarke. She knows Clarke is going to tell her she needs to stay…that she can’t go with Clarke for some bullshit reason like it’s too dangerous. So if Clarke really is going to leave again, the least she could do is give a proper goodbye.

“Alicia--”Clarke starts.

“I know,” Alicia cuts her off. “Just… promise me you’ll be safe? I don’t want to see another person I care about get hurt. It’s happened one too many times already. Don’t do that to me.”

“I won’t,” Clarke says sincerely and she captures Alicia’s lips with her own in a slow, loving kiss.

Alicia bites back the tears because this goodbye very well may be the last time she sees her, even if she just told Clarke she doesn’t have permission to get hurt. You just never know nowadays what’s going to happen.

“Bye,” Clarke says as she opens the front door, the sunlight forming a halo around her golden hair and making her look even more radiant than usual.

“Bye,” Alicia murmurs, trying to take in the moment as best she can.

As soon as Clarke shuts the door Alicia falls to the floor in a crumpled pile of defeat letting the tears flow freely. How is she going to do this if Clarke is chasing death? It’s not like her to be so concerned. Clarke can take care of herself. But then again, Clarke makes her feel things she’s never felt before. She makes her happy and that’s more than she can say about most people.

Alicia’s sitting on the ground feeling sorry for herself when she realizes how pathetic and helpless she’s acting. She’s not just a sappy mess of a girl on the parlor floor and shouldn’t be acting like one either. She’s Alicia fucking Clark and she’ll be damned if she’s letting Clarke go after Weather Corp. alone. If Clarke wants to go on a suicide mission, fine, but Alicia’s going to be the one to save her ass when it all goes to hell. But first things first, she needs to recruit a partner in crime.  


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke, Raven and Bellamy form a plan. Alicia enlists the help of her brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m spoiling you guys with all these updates this month. There’s a lot of jumping back and forth in this chapter but I think it works better that way...or maybe I watch too much TV.  
> As always, all mistakes my own.

Bellamy and Raven are discussing strategy and the possibility of dividing into two groups to accomplish more within a shorter time span when Clarke strides through the camp looking radiant. Her shoulders are back, her bright golden hair is blowing in the breeze and the sunlight is giving her a beautiful glow. It’s a stark contrast from the dingy crew scattered around the camp this morning. Raven and Bellamy pause they’re conversation to look her way.

“Clarke,” Bellamy says as she approaches them. He notices that the storm in her blue eyes has subsided some, the lines of worry and despair on her face don’t look as harsh, and overall she looks much less haunted. It’s a relief to say the least. Clearly whatever Clarke did since the last time he saw her has helped. He only hopes she has the answers she seeks.

“Hey Bell,” Clarke replies lightly and hugs him. “Hey Raven,” she adds but doesn’t go in for the hug. It’s still awkward between them but Raven does say hello in response. Baby steps.  

“Where did you run off to last night?” Bellamy asks curiously.

“Somewhere I could decompress. Also, I think I know where our friends are being held.”

“What?” Raven says suddenly.

“Being _held_?” Bellamy catches and Clarke nods to confirm.

“Yes. They’re being held by a corporation called Weather Corp. The scientists there are using those of us not infected by the virus as test subjects to find a cure.”

“Holy shit,” Raven says and Clarke and Bellamy nod in agreement.

“We need to tell the others and see if we can locate them. They must have access to advanced technology if they are trying to synthesize a cure. Raven, do you think you could locate any signals they may be putting out?” Clarke asks hopefully.

“Yea definitely. I might be able to pick up on electronic transmission if I’m close enough. And considering how we’re in a deserted desert town, I won’t have to worry about interferences.”  

“Great. Do you have all the equipment you need for the task? We can do a supply run before we head out to where we last saw the other members of our group if you don’t. I doubt Weather Corp. would stray too far from the site to take people. It’s just too risky to not be seen.”

“I agree,” Bellamy chimes in. “But, I didn’t see anything in that desert to suggest Weather Corp had its base of operation nearby.”

“Neither did I…” Clarke adds. 

“Well it won’t hurt to take a second look. Maybe there’s something you missed,” Raven offers. “But I’ll need some time to build the equipment we’ll need.”

“How much time?” Bellamy asks.

“Couple days,” Raven says.

“Do it in one. We need to move fast on this,” Clarke says definitively.

“I don’t know if I can do it in one, Clarke. I’m a tech genius not a wizard,” Raven replies frustrated.

“Well you’re going to need to work some magic,” Clarke says sternly.

“Watch your tone, Princess!” Raven warns.

“All right you two. Knock it off. Raven, just go as fast as you can. Clarke, what are we doing about the Ark?” Bellamy steps in between them. Clarke and Raven need to figure out a way to work through their issues if they’re going to get their people back. Bellamy’s no expert on repairing relationships but he does know the outcome is worth the effort. He and Octavia have had their fair share of arguments, after all.

 Clarke sighs, heavily, calming her nerves a bit before continuing. “We should split into two groups. One to find Weather Corp. and one to find the Ark,” Clarke suggests.

“Sounds good,” Bellamy says. “This will work.”

“I hope so,” Clarke answers.

“If they want a fight, we’ll give them a fight. They picked the wrong group of people to mess with,” Raven adds.

Bellamy lets out a small laugh while Clarke averts her gaze. She’s got a lot to do by nightfall and is eager to get to it. The group senses the lull in conversation and everyone makes their moves to depart.

“I’m going to clean up a bit and I’ll come find you guys later,” Bellamy says.

“Good thinking, Blake. You smell like rotten meat.” Raven scrunches her nose in show and shakes her head disapprovingly.

“You’re always so polite, Reyes,” Bellamy quips with a smile and heads toward the lake.  

Raven and Clarke are left standing alone next to each other and the awkwardness between them is suffocating. Clarke’s about to leave and give Raven her space as usual when the Latina unexpectedly stops her.

“Hold on a minute, Clarke,” Raven says with a huff, clearly forcing herself to continue. “I’m sorry for blaming you for Finn’s death. You saved my life.” The words are mumbled but sincere.

Clarke watches her closely for a while, not knowing what to say but she settles on, “Raven, you don’t need to apologize.” Clarke softens her gaze.

“Yea I do. I’ve been pretty bitchy,” Raven confesses.

 _Yes you have._ Clarke thinks to herself but knows better than to say it aloud. “I appreciate the apology. I feel terrible about what happened, even though I did what needed to be done.” Clarke emphasizes. She’s surprised when Raven agrees with her. It’s a small reprieve because Clarke has been tortured by the thought of killing her friend, even if he was already dead, and the screaming agony she saw Raven in afterwards. “And for the record, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say sorry,” Clarke quips in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“A part of me died just then, so consider yourself special,” Raven smirks.

“Dramatic as always…I missed you.” Clarke smiles and hugs Raven tightly. Finally! She has her friend back and she’s going to need her now more than ever.

“So are you going to freely tell me where you really went last night or will I to have to pry it out of you?” Raven grins. “Octavia seems to think you have a boo.”

“Octavia needs a better hobby than gossiping,” Clarke responds wearily.

Raven chuckles. “So I take that as a yes. Tell me everything.”

* * *

“I need your help,” Alicia starts. She’s standing in her brother’s room, which looks like it could use a thorough cleaning. From the clothes, shoes, books, and _stuff_ laying around, it looks more like a storage locker.

“Hello to you too,” Nick quips without looking up. He’s carefully cleaning out his trusted revolver. The bullets are scattered across the ground while Nick opens the chamber and casually spins it.

“Nick, it’s important. It’s about Clarke,” Alicia says, waiting for Nick’s curious gaze to meet hers. He doesn’t disappoint. So predictable.

“Lover girl? Do I even want to know?” He narrows his eyes suspiciously. Knowing his sister this conversation could go in a million different directions and he’s not prepared for most of them.

“You’ll need that gun.” Alicia hints and just like that he’s interested.

“Go on…”

* * *

“Shit!” Raven says for the tenth in the last ten minutes. “Come on you piece of shit! Work!”

“It’s going that well, huh?” Bellamy teases. He looks around the junky room, not recognizing half of the equipment, and wonders how Raven can tell the difference between it all.

“You try making a long-range high frequency bug detector from the smashed parts of an old dropship,” Raven challenges from her spot on the floor, not looking up from her task of connecting various wires to a metal plate in an attempt to create the circuit she’ll need for the bug detector.

“No thanks,” Bellamy responds with a low laugh. “Do you have everything you need or are we going to need to make another supply run?”

“I should be fine. It’d be going a lot faster if I had Monty here to help me, though,” Raven says dryly.

Bellamy can tell she misses him. He’s her Watson. “We’ll get him back, Ray. All of them.”

Raven lets out a deep sigh. “We better.”

Bellamy leaves Raven to her task, knowing he’s not helping one bit and walks back out into the open air. Everyone is on edge and he is no exception. Not only is there the threat of the infected but now there’s a mysterious corporation with the power and resources to capture them without even being seen or found.

“How the hell are you supposed to fight an enemy that’s invisible?” Bellamy says to himself as he runs his fingers through his hair.

“You can’t,” Octavia answers, walking over to him.

“Always the optimist, O.”

“There’s no point to optimism.”

“Then how do you propose we get our friends back?” Bellamy asks exasperatedly.

Clarke looks up from where she’s laid out various medical supplies for the trip, having overheard their conversation. She listens carefully to Octavia’s answer.

“We go in and get them,” the girl says with a sort of obvious look on her face.

“We go inside and break them out? That’s your plan? Where do we go, O? How do we get inside? We don’t even know where this place is or if it even exists,” Bellamy counters.

“Oh it exists,” Clarke chimes in, walking over to them. “And I know a way in…” She adds cryptically. They’re not going to agree to her plan and if she tells them, they’ll try to stop her, so she needs to do this on her own. _Alicia is definitely not going to like this, but I’ll find some way to make it up to her._

“We’re waiting, Princess?” Octavia says with a raised brow.

“Why do people keep calling me that. It’s Clarke,” she prefaces. “As for getting inside, give me a day,” Clarke responds and walks away quickly, leaving them standing their confused. If she’s going to do this, she’ll need Raven’s help and she trusts that Reyes can keep a secret. “Hey,” Clarke calls out to Raven who is still hunched over her equipment and fidgeting with several wires. “I need your help.”

* * *

“You want to what!” Nick exclaims.

“I want to find Weather Corp. They have Clarke’s friends,” Alicia tells him again, rather calm for the proposal.

“You’re insane.”

“No, I’m trying to help a friend.”

“A friend? You must be in love with this chick to do something so reckless. We don’t even know if Weather Corp is real! And if it is, how do we find it and save 6 people.” Nick exclaims. He’s shaken up because deep down, he believes all those stories about Weather Corp. and he knows he’s sister is going to do what she wants to do, regardless if he helps or not.  

Alicia doesn’t respond right away because Nick has a good point. She’s risking everything for what? A blonde haired, blue eyed angel that fell from heaven? Well, it doesn’t sound so senseless when put that way. But still, she’s gambling with her life and better have a damn good reason for doing so. But the only person that comes to mind in response, is Clarke. Clarke always comes to mind. Maybe they were meant to find each other. Of all the places that dropship could have landed, it landed in a tiny Mexican farming town, walking distance from Alicia’s home. She can’t ignore the serendipity of the whole situation. Clarke literally came crashing into her life, turned everything on its head, and stole her heart. So yes, she’s going to risk it all for this girl because she knows, without a doubt in her mind, that it’s what she’s supposed to do.

Nick watches Alicia recede into her thoughts and pauses his reservations. She might actually love, Clarke and he’s realizing it the same time she is.

“Look, you don’t have to come with me. But I’m doing this regardless,” Alicia finally says with a serious face.

“Leeshy, I can’t let you go get yourself killed,” Nick says kinder.

Alicia smirks, knowing he would come around. “Good. Then we leave for the camp now.”

Nick throws his head back and stares at the ceiling in one of those what-the-hell-am-I-getting-myself-into moments, before collecting the bullets from off the floor and putting them back into the chamber. He snaps it close with a click, grabs a few things from around his room and throws everything in his bag before looking at his sister who’s stills waiting at the door.

“Let’s go.”  

Nick and Alicia are descending the stairs when there’s a loud knock at the front door. Nick stops mid-stair and looks at Alicia, wondering if she was expecting Clarke. Alicia can tell what he’s going to ask and shakes her head in response.

“Nick, who is that?” their mother calls from her room.  

“I don’t know!” Nick grumbles in response.

“Find out!” Madison calls again.

There’s another knock at the door, this time louder. Alicia’s the first to continue down the stairs. She goes to the living room window and pulls back the curtain to see who it is. Nick gets out his gun, just in case. They’ve had trouble with people before. Chris rounds the corner and appears on the top of the stairs. Nick motions for him to stay there but of course he doesn’t listen, and barrels past Nick to join Alicia at the window. Nick pulls back the curtain without any tact and it reveals two men, a boy Alicia’s age, and a very pregnant woman on the porch. The is panting and clutching her swollen belly in obvious pain. She must be in labor.

Chris rushes to open the door but Alicia grabs his arm harshly before he can turn the knob. “Wait!”

“Let go of me!” Chris demands, jerking his arm from Alicia’s grasp and opening the door without hesitation. “They need help!”

“It could be a trap!” Alicia warns but Chris ignores her. He pulls the door open and is greeted by a man with a thick beard, beady eyes, and a wicked grin. Alicia notices the bulge of a gun in his jacket pocket and swallows thickly.  

“Well hello. My friend here,” he says, pointing to the pregnant lady, “is in need of some help. She’s going into labor and needs a place to safely deliver the baby.” He says it so calmly. It almost sounds rehearsed and Alicia is growing more concerned by the whole situation by the second.

“I’m sorry we can’t help you,” Alicia speaks up quickly before Chris can say yes. She pushes him aside and stands in front of the door to block their entry. Her face is expressionless and the man smirks at her bravery.

“And who might you be, doll?” he says, licking his thin chapped lips. The gesture sends shivers down Alicia’s spine, and not the good kind.

“That’s none of your business. Now, move along,” Alicia bites.  

The pregnant woman, who’s been silent this whole time, suddenly lets out a particularly loud and painful moan. Alicia tightens her grip on the door and on her resolve. She’s not convinced this isn’t a trap.

“Alicia, she needs help!” Chris tries again. But before Alicia respond otherwise, the man in front of her shoves the door open with his foot and knocks both Chris and Alicia to the ground in the process.

“Enough of this,” he says to himself impatiently. “Tie them up!” He yells to the other man and the boy who looks like he’s afraid but will do as told. Then the man towering over Alicia looks at her hungrily. “Leave this one for me.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Raven search for signs of Weather Corp. Alicia deals with intruders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am soooooo sorry for not updating before now. I'm writing three fics and I'm in law school. Bad combo. I'll try to be more diligent with the next few chapters. Enjoy!

“That’s everything,” Bellamy tells the group sitting in the back of the pickup truck as he straps the last piece of equipment down, pulling the ropes as tight as possible. He closes the hatch and then turns to Raven and gives her a thumbs up. She nods and hops into the driver’s seat, running her hands through her hair while she waits for the go.

“Does everyone remember their roles?” Clarke asks, standing behind the truck and addressing the group in front of her. They nod in unison but it does nothing to calm her nerves. _This has to work_ , she thinks _._ “Good. Jordan and Olivia are in charge of base-camp. Keep trying to call the Ark and be on the lookout for any distress signals from the other two groups. Bellamy and Octavia are taking the lead in hunting down the Ark and will radio in as soon as they find anything. Bell, signal me and Raven as well.”

“Will do, Clarke,” Bell responds a biting edge to his tone that Clarke ignores for the time being. If they’re going to put her in charge, then they’re going to have to live with her decisions.

“Okay. Raven and I will head back into the desert and hopefully find the spot we last saw the others. We too will call in if we find anything.” Clarke looks around the group, they seem focused, for now, and it’s all Clarke can hope for. “Good luck everyone. Let’s head out.”

It had taken some convincing to get Bellamy to agree to go with his sister to find the Ark instead of with Clarke and Raven to the desert. He thought the trip would be too dangerous for them, but Clarke politely reminded him that they didn’t need a man to get the job done and he grudgingly shut up about it. Clarke partially did this to relieve some stress off Octavia and partially to carry out her _real_ plan; the one that requires her to be purposefully kidnaped by Weather Corp. She may have kept that little detail to herself, even leaving Raven in the dark. But Bellamy would surely have fucked up that plan up and hopefully Raven will be too busy trying to locate a signal to notice. The only issue is preventing Raven from being taken as well. Clarke hopes the ride into the desert is long enough for her to figure out how to keep Raven safe.

Clarke also hasn’t had time to stop and think about how Alicia or how she would react to this plan of hers. But Clarke knows it wouldn’t go over well with the brunette. Hell, Alicia would try to tag along. But in order to keep her safe, Clarke’s forced to leave Alicia out of it, at least for now.

Clarke says her goodbyes to everyone before hoping in the passenger seat and strapping herself in. Raven expertly shifts gears and then they’re off, speeding onto the main road that leads toward the desert, a trail of thick dust in their wake.

Bellamy and Octavia’s crew follow behind in the other vehicle, packed to the brim with supplies, food and water. They have a smaller party and will continue driving into the desert once Raven and Clarke stop where their friends were last spotted.

“Where to, Princess?” Raven quips, her tone light but the nickname dripping with silent contempt. Guess things aren’t perfect between them after all but it’ll do. Clarke points to a familiar beaten path in the dirt and Raven quickly turns off the road. It’s where Clarke and the others first turned while using the dissipating trail of fumes as a beacon to the fallen Ark. “Here? Really?” Clarke shrugs with a smile and Raven rolls her eyes but presses harder on the gas. “Hang on back there!” She yells out the window to the kids sitting in the back of the pickup and one sticks his head out the side and howls like a wolf in the night. Some erupt in laugher, some join in, and dirt flies high and free in their wake. Clarke beams and rests her head back against the seat and closes her eyes to enjoy the feeling of being young because it doesn’t come often.

An hour later Clarke motions for Raven to slow down and she pulls to a stop near the location Clarke last saw her friends. Raven jumps out the truck and walks around to the back, instructing people on what to do with the equipment. Clarke takes a look around, hoping that maybe she missed something, but everything looks the way it did two days ago--dusty and barren.

It takes about 20 minutes for Raven to get everything set up and once she does, she immediately starts looking for any sign of electric signals in the area. But there’s nothing. Not even a faint pulse. Everything is dead from what she can tell. Raven looks over to a hopeful Clarke and shakes her head solemnly. The others who have similar portable devices, similar looking to metal detectors, in their hands are spread out and searching as well but no one finds anything.

“There’s nothing here, Clarke,” Raven says.

“Fuck!” Clarke exclaims and looks out into the desert.

“Hey, we’ll find them, okay?” Raven assures, grabbing ahold of Clarke’s arms to pull her to face her. 

“When? What if they’re dead?” Clarke counters desperately.

“Thinking like that isn’t productive.”

Clarke shakes her head and takes a deep breath. Raven’s about to say something more when her machine spikes. Clarke and Raven’s faces light up, instantly.

Raven tinkers with the device, adjusting some of the gears and walking around in a circle for a better signal. Clarke watches her closely.

“What is it? Is it Weather Corp.?” Clarke asks hopefully.

“I don’t know…” Raven says slowly. “It’s not the kind of electric pulse I’m looking for. It’s ground movement. A lot of it and close by.”

“So what does that mean?” Clarke asks, still hopeful.

“It means someone, or some _thing_ is moving our way and fast,” Raven guesses, surprise evident on her face.

“Bell and Octavia?” Clarke suggests. _Weather Corp. transport vehicles?_

“Possibly,” Raven responds. “I didn’t calibrate the machine to detect anything other than electromagnetic pulses but there is clearly something coming.”

 “Hey Raven are you getting this?” One of the members of their group calls from further ahead. He’s a scrawny boy named Jesse that happily volunteered for the mission. He looks as puzzled and excited at picking up something as Raven does.

“Yea! I don’t know what it is!” Raven yells back and motions for the group to return.

They all huddle around the small screen of Raven’s device and watch the spikes grow higher as the movement grows closer. It should be within hearing distance any second.  

“Do you hear that?” Clarke asks and they all fall silence and listen.

At first there’s nothing but the wind and a few cries from the hawks in the sky but then a rumbling sound radiates out and the dry cracked ground beneath their feet begins to vibrate.

“What the hell is that?” someone asks nervously and looking around. He falls silent for a moment, peering into the distance and through the cloud of rapidly approaching dust before his eyes grow wide in fear. “Umm, guys? Lo-look!” He stutters and backs up into the truck.

Everyone jerks their heads up just in time to see a huge cloud of dust, several stories high, float above the desert sand, masking what has generated it, but unmistakably close.

“What the…” Raven trails off while she pulls the pistol out from her back pocket reflectively. Some of the others do the same, half standing their ground and half bolting toward the truck.

They hear the grunting before they see them. A hoard of infected, larger than anything they’ve seen thus far is 300 yards out and closing in fast. There’s likely over one hundred of them and they’re as gruesome and disgusting as ever. Their feet half-shuffle, half-run toward the group. Their arms flap and swat at the air hungrily. Their clothes are covered in dirt, grim, and dripping blood as if they’ve been freshly feed and want seconds.

“Run!” Clarke yells, bolting for the truck, Raven scrambling after her. She’s just about to hop in the front seat when she catches a glimpse of something shiny out the corner of her eye. Clarke turns her head and sees two men in white full-body suits carrying long metal sticks that look like modified baton tasers.

 _Weather Corp.,_ Clarke thinks before slamming her door shut and running back toward the zombies.

“CLARKE!” Raven screams. Getting out the car and running after her. But Clarke doesn’t stop. She needs to find her friends, even if it means risking her life. She needs to do _something_ right. She can’t lose any more people.

The men look up at Raven’s screams and spot her and Clarke charging toward them. One motions to the other to go after them while he stays behind and tazes a straying female walker and drags her now limp form behind a large shrub.

“Raven go back!” Clarke commands but Raven’s too stubborn to listen, hot on her heel.

“No you get back here! What the hell are you doing? Trying to kill yourself?” Raven yells and grabs onto Clarke’s arm when she finally catches up to her. She hangs Clarke, back hard, almost causing the both of them to go tumbling into the dirt.

“Let go, Ray! I need to do this on my own,” Clarke warns, her voice harsh and her eyes wild.

“Do what?” Raven asks confused. She’s about to pull Clarke back to the truck, one way or another, until she spots the two men in the white suit and she freezes. “What the--”

Clarke takes the opportunity to push Raven away and charges after the men. She glances back to see Raven scramble to her feet just as she collides with one of the men who seemingly has just appeared out of nowhere. He instantly tazes her and Clarke collapses, eating a mountain of rough dirt. Before she passes out the man above her kneels down, his face mere inches from her own and his breath as hot as the sand under his feet.

“Stupid bitch,” he says and then it’s lights out.

* * *

“Tie her up, Jack!” the older balding man says harshly. He’s their leader. That much is clear and the boy Alicia’s age, Jack, looks way in over his head. He’s looking around frantically and his hands shake. He’s the perfect target.

“You don’t have to do this!” Alicia begs him as Jack approaches her with the rope in one hand and a gun in the other. “Please! We’ll give you what you want!” Alicia says, holding up her hands. Jack freezes for a moment but it’s over when the leader speaks again.

“Shut up!” the older man says again as he roughly finishes tying a knotted rope around her mother’s hands. She looks terrified but for some reason, Alicia feels more clearheaded than ever. She’s going to get them out of this.

“Just cooperate,” Jack says to Alicia, his eyes pleading as he reaches for her.

“No!” Alicia holds her ground, shoving his hands away.

Jack quickly grabs her arm but Alicia wrestles free from his grasp and knees him right in the balls. He hollers in pain and drops to the floor, doubled over. Alicia tries to make a run for the door so she can grab the spare shot gun Travis keeps in the barn but someone catches up to her and slams her roughly into the wall, wrecking her balance and momentum. She falters and the person yanks her arms behind her back and quickly ties them together. Alicia turns her head and sees the graying leader, Connor. He looks worse up close.

“Worthless twit. I have to do everything myself!” he yells at Jack and then looks Alicia over, his tongue poking between his teeth hungrily. It sends a cold chill down Alicia’s spin and bile rises in the back of her throat. Then Connor runs his dirty hands across her cheek. Alicia flinches violently and tries to jerk away but he just holds onto her that more tightly.  

“Don’t you dare touch her!” Madison yells, trying to free herself from the rope to no avail.

Connor smirks and cups Alicia’s chin. She spits on him and he slaps her roughly across the face.

“Alicia!” Nick yells but the man only chuckles.

“How about me and you go upstairs for a bit?” He says darkly and baring his teeth like a true villain.

“How about you go fuck yourself,” Alicia hisses in response.

“Connor, this isn’t part of the plan,” Jack says shakily from the floor and looks at Alicia almost apologetically. Maybe he’ll help her. But then again, maybe he won’t.

“Plans change,” Connor replies sneering.

Alicia’s mind is racing a mile a minute and desperately trying to come up with a way to save her family. There are three hostiles but six of them. That’s two to one. Great odds if they could just avoid getting shot. Alicia looks around for a weapon while Connor guides her toward the stairs. She knows she has a knife in her room but she’s afraid to be alone with Connor long enough to grab it. Maybe Nick has one on him? Maybe Travis is thinking about playing the hero? It’s now or never.

The next few minutes are a blur. Alicia and Connor don’t make it more than a few steps up the stairs before Alicia head-butts Connor and lurches her body back into his, throwing him off balance and sending them sprawling down the stairs. It causes enough distraction for the others to join the fight. Nick breaks free of his restraints, pinning down the man who originally tied him up and then binding his hands in return. Madison stomps on the pregnant woman’s foot as a distraction for Travis to kick the back of her knee, dropping her to her knees. Madison swipes the knife off the woman and cuts her own restraints and then Travis’s. Before the woman can even get on her feet again, the pair are dragging her to a chair in the dining room and tightly securing her so she won’t escape.

When all is said and done, the Clarks and Manawas have successfully taken control of the house again and the band of mischievous intruders are tied up and gagged. No one’s sure what to do now but they need answers and Travis is the first to start the conversation.

“Did you come to rob us?” He says, his hands on his hip.

Everyone in the group stares at him obviously except Jack who lowers his eyes in shame.  

“Well aren’t you bright,” Connor says sarcastically and then spits on the floor in abhorrence.

Madison looks like she could slap him and for a moment Alicia finds it comical if only to dull the fear she’s feeling. This is not going to end well. How could it?

“We tend to target larger homes. More supplies,” Jack supplies from his seat. “Please, just let us go,” he adds

“Shut up, fool,” the other man in the group says.

“Stupid boy,” the pregnant woman mutters lowly.

“Travis, what should we do with them? We can’t exactly send them on their way,” Madison whispers.

“And why not?” Travis says.

“Because they’ll just come back with more vengeance,” Alicia speaks up, catching the attention of the entire group. “Or they’ll go find another family to tie up and loot.”

 “Well we certainly can’t take them in,” Nick argues while eying them suspiciously.

“I say we feed them to the infected,” Chris offers and not jokingly.

Alicia raises her eyebrow, considering it and Travis scoffs at her.

“Alright that’s enough. I know what we should do,” Travis says suddenly.

Alicia’s sick of him taking the lead and making the rules. She wishes she could vote him off the island but they’re all in too deep for that now. She just hopes his plan isn’t too foolish. She waits for him to tell them but he doesn’t. Instead, Travis disappears into the kitchen, grabbing the loaded shotgun from underneath the island bar. Connor follows is every move wearily.

“Load them into the truck,” Travis says as he fills an old duffle bag full of some supplies. “Now.”

“They aren’t cattle,” Alicia says.

“Might as well be,” Travis answers and it’s a little unnerving. “Nick and Chris, take him,” Travis says, pointing to one of the men. “Ofelia and Madison, take her. Alicia, get the boy. He’s mine,” Travis says looking at Connor in distaste.

Alicia walks a bound Jack to the pick-up truck in the driveway. She half expects him to struggle but he doesn’t. He’s complacent.

“Not even gonna try to run away? What kind of bad guy are you?” Alicia quips, trying to make him feel better although she shouldn’t be.

“The good kind,” Jack answers seriously. “Look, we aren’t all bad. We wouldn’t have hurt you…just taken what we needed and left.”

“You left out the part where your almighty leader was going to rape me,” Alicia snaps, glaring at him.

Jack doesn’t respond, probably knowing Alicia’s got him at that one. She tells him to get into the back of the truck, happy to find that the truck tires haven’t been slashed. Hopefully they didn’t drain the gas. She sits down next to him on the truck bed as Nick walks up with another member of Jack’s group.

“Travis we can’t all fit in this thing,” Madison says after helping the pregnant woman into the back.

“I know. That’s why only me, you and Nick are going,” Travis answers.

“No way! I’m tired of being left out!” Alicia exclaims, jumping to her feet.

“Me too!” Chris adds sounding very much like a little brother in that moment.

“Absolutely not,” Travis replies as he gets into the driver’s seat and motions for Alicia to get down. Madison climbs in the passenger seat and looks at her daughter apathetically.

“Be good and stay safe. We’ll be back soon,” Madison tells them, although Alicia doubts she even knows where they are going, how long they will be gone, or when they will be back. She’s basically just saying mom shit at this point that Alicia ignores. She’s got better things to worry about.

Alicia’s remembering what she was on her way to do before the band of misfits showed up. Maybe this is her chance. Sneaking out with only Ofelia and Chris in the house shouldn’t be too difficult and then she can be on her way to finding Weather Corp. and Clarke. Alicia’s heart clenches at the thought of the blonde. It’s only been two days and already she misses her terribly. Her need for being around the blonde is insatiable and if she thinks about it, it might be part of the reason why she’s embarking on this goose chase. That, and the need to protect her. How is it that in the span of a couple weeks, Clarke’s completely gotten under her skin in the most delicious way? Alicia’s not sure what it means but she knows better than to fight it now.

 

Later on, once it’s just her, Chris, and Ofelia in the house–Ofelia cooking dinner, Chris doing God knows what in his room—Alicia determines that it’s the perfect time to make her escape. She doesn’t know her end destination but she knows where to start. With her bag packed, the gun Nick gave her strapped to her thigh and a swiss army knife in her boot, Alicia slips out an open downstairs window and off into the night with nothing on her mind but blonde hair and blue eyes.   


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke learns more about Weather Corp., Bellamy and Octavia find the Ark, and Alicia makes a new friend

Waking up in a bed donned with crisp white sheets smelling faintly of bleach, surrounded by equally white walls while wearing all white clothes is as unnerving as it sounds. For a second, Clarke thinks she might actually be dead because for starters, her clothes and her entire body are _clean_. Really clean – not riverbed-washed clean but soap and shampoo clean. And her clothes fit her perfectly. She’s wearing white skinny jeans and a white sweater.

Clarke flexes her hands, testing to see whatever she’s alive. As she does, her hands close around the calluses on her palms from constantly helping construct a home at the dropship site and then it all comes back to her. She remembers chasing after two men wearing hazard suits while they wrangled up a couple walkers. And suddenly she’s excited because those men must have been working for Weather Corp. and she must be in the company’s facility, where her friends are being held. But then she also remembers a very stubborn brunette charging after her and her heart sinks. Raven. Was she captured too? That was _not_ part of the plan.

Clarke shoots up from her bed and steadies herself from a sudden dizziness threatening to topple her over. Her head hurts—probably from being knocked out—but it isn’t so bad as to slow her down. Clarke’s bare feet thump against the cold title floor as she briskly makes her way toward the door. It has a thick glass window that she looks out of and into the hall. She makes sure no one is coming before trying the door. Surprisingly, it up opens without protest. Maybe she isn’t a prisoner like she initially feared.

The hallway is empty, another surprise, and she gets all the way to a second brightly lit corridor before running into anyone. The first person she sees is a girl about her age with short brown hair, paler than pale skin, and a weak smile. She looks startled to see Clarke and freezes as Clarke approaches her.

“What—what are you doing out of your room?” the girl stammers quickly, looking around frantically as if afraid to get caught.

“The door was unlocked. Where the hell am I?” Clarke asks, deciding not to reveal her suspicions of being inside Weather Corp.

“You’re um, you’re safe. You’re in Mount Weather.”

“Mount Weather?” Clarke asks confused.

“Yeah, uh, it’s run by – well, maybe it’s better if someone else explain things. I’m just a part-time nurse in the hospital wing,” Maya says.

 _Mount Weather_ , Clarke things. _Sounds connected to Weather Corp. So it does exist!_

“What’s your name? Have you seen my friend? She’s got long brown hair and a bad temper?” Clarke asks.

“Uh no, sorry. But you should stay here until I can find someone to…greet you. Or better yet, maybe you should just follow me,” the girl responds. “I’m Maya,” she adds.

“I’m Clarke.”

“Well you’re safe now, Clarke.”

Maya ushers Clarke further down the hall, around another corner, and through a set of double wood-paneled doors in stark contrast to all the white.

“Dante will have the answers you seek. I was just starting my shift when I ran into you." Maya says gently, her tone more confident now that they’re outside the doors.

Clarke has the feeling that Maya’s hiding something from her but doesn’t press it. She doesn’t actually know if Weather Corp. is the enemy or the savior at this point. But if they are working on a cure or an antidote, she doesn’t want to be on their bad side. She needs to make sure her people get it. That’s her number one priority; their safety.

Maya leads her into what looks like a piece of the old world. She’s in a library of sorts, decked out with highly polished wooden furniture including several bookshelves lined with hundreds of books. There are paintings hanging on the walls, _real_ paintings, and everything is so bright and colorful that it seems out of place compared to where she woke up at.

Clarke takes a seat on a red plush chair and Maya pours her a glass of water while they wait for this Dante fellow. It seems wrong, but Clarke thinks she could get used to this. No more grime, blood, and dust. This is the epitome of clean living and its remarkable for a corporation supposedly focused on curing a zombie virus. But it’s also really strange. Where are the test subjects, the scientists, the labs? This looks more like a museum than a research facility.

“It’s great isn’t it? This is my favorite room in the Mountain,” Maya says, smiling when she notices Clarke looking around.  

“The Mountain?”

“Oh, yeah it’s just a nickname for this place. The Mountain, Mount Weather, same thing. It’s named after The Weather Corporation which runs this place,” Maya tells her.

 _I knew it!_ Clarke thinks. But just as she’s about to question Maya further, a tall lean man with a white beard and beady eyes enters the room. He dramatically claps his hands together in a welcoming gesture and beams at Clarke like he’s just run into an old friend.

“Ah hello there! You must be Clarke!” the man says enthusiastically. “My name is Dante Wallace but you can just call me Dante.”

“How do you know my name?” Clarke asks, tensing and eyeing him and Maya suspiciously.

Maya looks at the ground and keeps her mouth shut. But Dante is more forthcoming.

“Oh I’ve heard all about you, Clarke. From your friends. You’ve been looking for them, have you not?” he asks with an unsettling gleam in his eye and Clarke flinches. “I assure you they are safe. And so are you.”

“So I’ve been told,” Clarke says. Dante smiles at her but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Where’s the girl I was with? Raven.”

“Ah yes. She’s a feisty one,” Dante says with a low chuckle.

“If you’ve hurt her-” Clarke starts.

“She’s fine, Clarke. Why would we hurt her? I told you, you and your friends are safe here. Would you like to see them?”

“Yes,” Clarke answers immediately. She stands swiftly from her chair. “Take me to them.”

“Of course,” Dante answers. “Maya, please show our guest to the dining hall. I’m sure she’s famished.” Maya nods gingerly and gently takes ahold of Clarke’s arm to show her the way. “We will talk again soon, Clarke. I am sure you have many questions. But first, eat and reunite with your friends.”

Clarke watches him as she’s led out of the library and just as they are about to turn the corner, Dante’s smile turns into a hard grimace. Something shady is definitely going on.

The dining room is just as elaborately kept as the library. Large round tables fill the space, each covered in mountains of food, canisters of juice and water, and at least ten sets of expensive-looking dinnerware.

And the tables aren’t empty. They’re filled with people of varying ages, sizes, and color who all look relatively happy and comfortable. None of them look like they’ve been living as scavengers in the apocalypse, that’s for sure.

Clarke spots Jasper, Monty, and the rest of the crew within seconds. Jasper’s laughing, something Clarke hadn’t seen him do in months, and Monty is nodding along. Raven is there too, but thankfully she looks as skeptical as Clarke feels.

“Raven! Monty!” Clarke calls out to them.

They look her way and their faces light up. She ignores Maya’s pleas for her to wait and rushes to them. 

“Clarke!” Monty exclaims, standing up and embracing her in a genuine hug.

“Welcome to the party!” Jasper says grinning.

He waves at Maya who tentatively waves back and ducks her head to hide a smile and a blush.

 _Curious._ Clarke thinks to herself. “Are you guys okay?” she asks, scanning their faces for signs of abuse or distress, but they look as happy and healthy as ever. Maybe even more so.

“Never felt better,” Jasper answers. “Seriously.”

Monty nods along and Raven and Clarke share a look.

“Personally, I’d rather be above ground than in this cult,” Raven says lowly. “I can’t believe I followed your dumb ass.”

Clarke rolls her eyes and ignores the comment. “What do you remember?”

“Not much, except waking up in a weird hospital room and then being ushered here. That was a few hours ago. My head still hurts a bit from being knocked out,” Raven continues and rubs the back of her head for emphasis.

“Did you meet a man named Dante Wallace?” Clarke asks and then Jasper and Monty’s eyes light up.

“No. Who’s that?” Raven asks.

“You met Dante?” Harper asks, joining the conversation.

“He’s the President of Weather Corp. Been with the company since the beginning. Nearly 50 years. His father was the founder,” Miller tells them. “I heard a couple people talking about him the other day. Apparently, he’s really close to finding the cure.”

“So at the moment, there’s no cure,” Raven summarizes bluntly.

“Not _yet_ ,” Miller responds.

“Well how long do we have to wait? It’s already been fifty years!” Raven exclaims. “And are the people down here just, what, workers? Is this some kind of sanctuary? And how are they doing testing?”

The people at the table grow quiet and look at each other as if debating whether to tell Clarke and Raven something.

“Out with it,” Raven demands.

“Look,” Monty begins.

“Monty, don’t start with that again,” Jasper warns.

“Start what? What’s going on,” Clarke insists. “This place is too good to be true.”

She needs to know not only for her and her people’s sakes but for everyone’s. She also has this sinking feeling that everything is not what it seems. The veil of ignorance is a dangerous one, especially when they’re dealing with something seemingly all powerful like Weather Corp.

“I don’t know for sure, but at night, I think they’re taking people in their sleep and running tests on them. They come back just before morning with needle marks in their arms but no one ever says anything or even thinks it’s abnormal. Apparently, the doctors here give us extra vitamins and fluids at the night. But…”

Jasper rolls his eyes and drinks down a glass of orange juice and loudly takes a bite out of his bacon.

“Go on,” Clarke tells him.

“But that just doesn’t seem right. And the other night, they took Quinten and he hasn’t been seen since,” Monty finishes in one breath.

“He’s probably just sick,” Jasper says without looking up from his plate.

“You have to admit it’s weird,” Miller whispers.

“Sounds like we’re all guinea pigs,” Raven says dryly. “Great.”

“That’s not what Maya says,” Jasper counters.

“Maya’s been here her whole life, of course she’s on their side,” Monty says.

“How are they staying asleep?” Clarke asks, ignoring the banter.

“We get these sleeping pills to take every night. Everyone gets them,” Harper clarifies.

“I didn’t take mine one night and that’s when I saw them come for Quinten,” Monty adds.

Clarke sighs heavily. It all seems more complicated that she initially thought it would be. But of course it is. Nothing’s been easy on the ground.

“So, what’s the plan, blondie?” Raven asks, running her hands through her hair.

“We need to get out of here,” Clarke says.

“No shit,” Raven says.

“Well your input is welcomed!” Clarke hisses at her, annoyed.

“I might have an idea,” Monty says with a mischievous gleam in his eye.

* * *

They’ve been traveling for the better half of a day when they finally stumble upon what they’ve been looking for. Octavia’s the first to spot it and she takes out the binoculars Raven gave her.

“Bell, you need to get over here!” Octavia exclaims in excitement.

Bellamy, who is half asleep in the jeep, hops down and walks over to his sister. He peers into the binoculars. At first it’s just a blurry view of some trees, but as his vision focuses then he finally sees what looks to be the remnants of the Ark.

A thin haze of smoke still rises into the air from the crash site. The ground beneath them is completely leveled, along with any trees and shrubbery within a mile radius. It’s impressive and he expects to see a litter of corpses lining the Ark. There’s anything but. There are dozens of people milling about. The first person he spots is none other than Abby Griffin, kneeling on the ground and tending to a man and woman who must be injured. Marcus Kane is close by, pointing toward the horizon while speaking with a group of people dressed in guard uniforms who nod their heads along in agreement. Others are picking up debris and clearing away burnt chucks of metal scraps so they can easily enter in and out the Ark.

They’re making a home here.

Relief washes over Bellamy to know that at least Clarke’s mother, and from the looks of it, a lot of other people, are safe. It’s nothing short of a miracle that the station itself is mostly intact. That means there will be _supplies_. They won’t have to make those dangerous supply runs anymore. Things could actually go back to normal. Well a new normal. One with infecteds but they can be dealt with. He only wishes Clarke were here to see it for herself.

“How the hell did they not get swarmed by hungry dead people the moment they crashed?” Octavia voices in disbelief. “We couldn’t even leave the dropship without dealing with them first.”

“I don’t know, O. Maybe they lured them away? There’s twice as many people here than we have.”

“What about the second dropship? I don’t see it,” Octavia says. “And Farm Station?”

“They might have gotten the coordinates wrong, or their trajectory was off. But we can start our own agricultural system, O. And if we find the others later on, all the better. But I think it would be a waste of time and resources to look for them now. The Ark itself has most, if not all the resources we’ll need to survive here on the ground,” Bellamy responds.

“Finding them wouldn’t just be to utilize their resources. It’d be so we can find _survivors_ ,” a boy named Atom says suddenly, his eyes narrowing.

“He’s right, Bell,” Octavia says softly, knowing her brother only means well but tends to lose sight of the big picture sometimes.

“Look, let’s just focus on helping the people on the Ark adjust first before we go searching for others. That’s all I’m saying,” Bellamy defends. “Have you heard from Clarke?” he asks his sister.

“Radio silences for now. I’m sure she and Raven are still looking. They would have radioed if something was wrong.”

* * *

Alicia’s feet hurt. Her worn out converse have been hitting the pavement for well over two hours now and there’s no sign of Clarke anywhere. She went straight to the campsite as planned but only found a handful of people there who said the others were out on “missions” which sounded like code for “leave us the hell alone.” One of them was kind enough to point her in the direction Clarke was last headed but that was two hours ago and any further away from the town and her chances of running into hungry walkers increased tenfold. They tend to stick in packs and wonder around the desert in circles. No one knows why but some say they’re drawn to the smell of burnt plants and the wide-open space. Plenty of that in Mexico.

At this point, Alicia’s just wondering around for the hell of it. She doesn’t want to go home because she’ll have to deal with the fallout from their encounter with raiders. She doesn’t expect she’ll to run into Clarke because she has no idea where she actual is but her chances are higher out here than in her room on the farm.

It feels like ever since the blonde crashed into her life she hasn’t left her thoughts. Not even for a second. It’s scary and exhilarating at the same time. They haven’t even been able to spend that much time together and still she’s managed to get under her skin and no matter how hard she tries, Alicia can’t shake her. Not that she wants to.

Alicia’s deep in thought when an empty soda can rattles to a stop in front of her. Alicia’s hand instantly finds the hilt of the knife hidden in her belt. She looks around, not seeing anyone and is about to keep going, ignoring the weirdness, when someone comes up behind her, twisting the arm that was around the knife hilt to pin it at her back and kicking her legs out from under her so she falls to her knees.

“Ow, what the fuck!” Alicia exclaims, trying to turn around and see her attacker but with no success.

“Shut up!” a voice says. It’s shaking ever so slightly and sounds like it belongs to a young girl. “What are you doing out here?”

“I don’t mean you any harm. I’m just looking for a friend. Just let me up and I’ll be on my way,” Alicia tries.

She attempts to stand but the girl at her back shoves her back down again. She’s surprisingly strong.

“In the middle of nowhere?” the girl questions.

“Yes… she went looking for something and now I’m looking for her,” Alicia tries to explain, knowing it sounds vague and slightly suspicious but it’s the truth.

“Looking for what?” the girl asks.

Alicia hesitates, unsure how much to tell her. “A corporation.”

“Weather Corp?” the girl whispers, letting go of Alicia’s arm.

Alicia’s up in an instant and spins around to face the girl. She’s about eleven or twelve years old with brown hair French-braided out of her face and smudges of what looks like charcoal around her eyes. The girl glares at her, clenching a sharp icepick in one hand and making a fist with the other.

“How do you know about Weather Corp?” Alicia demands.

The girl pauses and for a second and Alicia thinks she isn’t going to answer but when she does, she almost wishes she hadn’t.

“They took my sister. I’ve been looking for her for months.”

“Are you alone?”

“What’s it to you?” the girl asks quickly, holding her icepick tighter as if threatened.

“It’s dangerous out here,” Alicia says.

“Speak for yourself. I can handle my own.”

“I see that,” Alicia answers amusedly. She watches the girl shift from one foot to another, her eyes simultaneously taking in Alicia and scanning her surroundings for danger. She reminds Alicia of herself a little. “What’s your name?”

The girl is quiet again but eventually gives in. “Tris.”

“I’m Alicia. I’m looking for my friend and you’re looking for your sister so, maybe we can help each other,” Alicia offers.

“I don’t need your help,” Tris huffs.

This girl is stubborn but she might have helpful information and Alicia would feel guilty about leaving her to wonder alone. She’s just a kid and she hasn’t seen many of them since the outbreak and because of this, Alicia feels the unexpected need to protect her.

“Well you have to admit that two is better than one. And we’re looking for people who are likely in the same place. Wherever that is…”

“I know where it is,” Tris says.

“What?!” Alicia exclaims, stepping closer to the girl who spooks and holds her icepick out as a warning. “Sorry. But, you know where it is?” Alicia asks again, lowering her voice.

“Yes. The problem is getting in and getting out.”

 “I can help you. If you show me where it is, I’ll help you get your sister back,” Alicia says. “I promise.”

“How can I trust you?” Tris asks.

“Because Weather Corp. has someone special to me too. And I have to get her back,” Alicia says quietly.

Tris watches her carefully before hooking the icepick onto her backpack and sticking out her hand. Alicia takes it hesitantly, afraid the girl is going to strong arm her again. But she doesn’t. Instead she grips Alicia’s forearm and says, “deal.”


End file.
